So I have posted in here a couple of times for advice when stuff happens and I think I already know the answer but I’m trying to find someone who has been through something similar I suppose.
Quick background 33 two girls 6 and 3, married been together since I was 19 he 8 year older.
Been struggling in relationship since DD2 he seems to have become more controlling doesn’t like me going out, going to work, always calling me to check in. Since DD2 older I have started to do more things again but this cause DH to sulk and make thinks awkward. Example if I want to do something which is mainly for work as I have to travel 2hr to our site and I need him to collect girls he’s busy or huffs and puffs about it! I feel I’m on egg shells when I need to ask him if he ok to pick girls up from my mums if I’m going to be late home- usually one day a week. I only part time. Example last night I needed to go pick up a parcel for girls from Next, he said he would go but I said I didn’t mind as it would be a break and his face was thunder so I help bath girls and ready for bed then I was going to go, he was snotty and told me to wait till I had put youngest to bed in 30mins! She was all ready only needed a yogurt for supper and up to bed she goes to sleep straight away really easy! Anyway I waited a bit then he came down and snapped thought you were going so I went. He was in a vile mood and snappy with kids. In the past he calls eldest stupid when she cries which I don’t like so I don’t like leaving them with him. He never hurts them physically just he shouts and it’s all stressful so they end up crying and I have told him before not too use names and chill out but still happens. Lockdown has been better but haven’t been able to go anywhere so I also expected this issue to rear it’s head again. Anyway I went and then he texted me insinuating sex when I got back?! And then I think I have only just clearly realised this, but i what he does he is be an arse to me then all nice when he wants something and I just feel used and it’s weird. Back to this morning I need to go to site 2 days next week so makes sense to stay over but I trend on egg shells and scared to ask if he mind I stay over to save driving up and down- he being sulky and arsey again. I told him that I feel like this and should be able to just ask and he says I make him out to be a monster! I suppose I just don’t understand is this normal for couple juggle work and kids?? I feel really unhappy there are other things going off at the moment which have happened like we have sold our house and buying another but not ready yet so living in his old house which we let out. However we have sold this and my old flat so there is some cash around and he has basically said that the cash from the flat is to go into new house for furniture and stuff and he keeping cash from his house as it has nothing to do with me?! I now also get extra money because my DD receives the 30hr childcare and he has told me that I need to pay this extra money into our joint acct. I have spoken to my parents who obviously don’t want us to split but I can see my dad is becoming increasingly angry about DH behaviour and says he manipulates me. Anyway I’m really confused and don’t know what to do any more. I feel bad on girls if we split and then wonder if I’m doing right thing etc?? I suppose I never been in this situation before as not had any other serious relationship to compare. Some outside advice needed pls