I’m currently 38 weeks pregnant and feel very frustrated with my partner! I don’t know if it’s just the hormones mixed with me being insecure about my body at the moment and our lack of intimacy (we haven’t had sex in several months!! His choice btw) but it is really upsetting me. Basically his phone goes off constantly. Now he has full access to my phone, he knows my passcode and often takes my phone to make phone calls when he needs a top up or to look something up online or if his phone is out of charge or something. He has also looked through my messages before without asking me as he wanted to see who I was talking to. I on the other hand don’t seem to be allowed near his phone. He says he’s not a child and I’m not looking through his phone, his mum used to do that when he was growing up. He then said I can look through his phone but nothing will ever be the same between us and basically we will break up because of it.
I want to add though his new phone broke and he was using his old phone for a few weeks as, and that’s another thing, he carries these two phones around with him still, even with a new phone, and same thing doesn’t let it out of his sight, says it’s just for his online banking, anyway he was using this old phone for a few weeks. This old phone he had for the first maybe 5 months me and him were together and he forgot it at hime one day. I picked it up and right across the front was a notification from pof a dating site. I called him and confronted him, he said he forgot to delete it, hasn’t been on it in ages and showed me it when he got home and Tbf there were no messages but pof deletes them after 30 days I think and I was confused why he would still have that installed on his phone.
Anyway He takes his phone with him everywhere, and even sleeps with it on him. He has a passcode on his phone that I don’t know, he told me it twice but seems to have changed it both times. Also just to add to this He asked me to set up an email account for him which I did, then when he was working away for a bit he asked me to book a hotel room for him for the night which I did and I just got the confirmation sent to his email and when he seen it he accused me of snooping through his emails which I had not done and told me he had changed his password now. I have asked to see his phone before as I just wanted to see who he was talking to cause his phone pings every 2 seconds and I didn’t believe it was just his dad or his brother like he told me and wanted some reassurance. Anyway long story short I managed to see his phone the other day and on Snapchat he is talking to lots and lots of different women I have never heard of! I couldn’t see the chats as they weren’t saved but I confronted him and he said they are friends he had had for years and known from school. If that is just the case though why has he never mentioned them before? He always talks about his mates and all the guys he works with but he’s never once mentioned any of these girls and seems to talk to them daily??
I actually ended up messaging two of the girls who’s name I could remember and one of them was a 19 year old girl he had been running to and from work and he had asked her for her Snapchat to arrange lifts. The thing is I had asked him why he was leaving so early for work and he had told me he was just going to shops so I was a bit annoyed he had lied to me about that but he said it’s because of how I would react which I can see his point cause I have been feeling so insecure and jealous lately and one of the other girls said that him and her have been friends for years, only ever had each other on Snapchat, nothing has happened between them, he fell out with her one night he was drunk and she never reached out to him again as she knew he had a girlfriend and baby on the way and she wouldn’t like that if it was her..which I didn’t quite understand what she meant by that but yeah.
There was actually one other time I seen his phone months and months ago. I was about 3 months pregnant at the time but things had been going great in our relationship and then suddenly he went away to work for a night and went completely mia. He phoned me around 6 o clock after he finished work and he sounded off on the phone, he spoke to me for probably less than a minute and said he had to go and would call me back in 5. A few hours passed and he never called me and because of how he sounded on the phone I tried giving him a call and he never answered. I seen he was online on whatsapp so I messaged him asking if he was alright and he read my message and ignored me. I tried calling him again later when I seen he was on whatsapp again and still wasn’t replying to me. He ignored me and then I got a message from him to pick him up from a nearby town at like 3 in the morning and he needed money. I went to the town and he wouldn’t even tell me the address, made me wait outside of hours. The guys he was working away with I know pay for sex and meet up with girls from dating sites even though they are married etc so my mind was starting to run wild. He ends up telling me an address which is completely wrong, and I ended up somehow ending up back where I had waited hours for him which is where he had been all along except he was waiting outside the flats now. He wouldn’t look at me in the car and basically said he didn’t want the baby anymore, didn’t want to be with me anymore and had cold feet cause everything had went bottoms up at work and he was worried about how he would financially support a family. I actually seen a glimpse of his phone that night and noticed he was talking to a girl. He asked him how he could talk to her that night and not me and he removed her but when I seen his phone the other day they were talking again. He told me that night she was a random girl he had never met but had had as a friend on Snapchat for years but the other day said to me she’s actually a mate of his and he never told me because he didn’t want me to be jealous.
Anyway, do I sound like I am being completely unreasonable to be uncomfortable with all of this? Like I don’t want to be some controlling girlfriend who alienates my boyfriend from every female but at the same time I just wish he was a bit more open!! And he’s been like this from the get go, like before I was ever jealous or insecure or questioned him he still did this and hid this from me so he can’t just use the excuse of oh I’m not telling you because of how you’ll react surely...