Looking for advice please, if anyone can help.
My sister, who I've written about on here before, is stressing me out. We are adults and live in different areas, but usually talk a lot on the phone.
There is a history which I won't go into too much, as it would make the op massive, but I've had advice about her on here before and been told to go NC.
She is in her thirties and has taken a notion that she wants to settle down and get pregnant asap. She has been seeing a man, who I didn't like the sound of. He is in the middle of a messy divorce which he made out was all his exw's fault. My sister who is normally as sceptical as they come, completely bought into this rhetoric and said he was basically kept as a slave and his exw must be a "LESBIAN 
" 
.
Anyway, sister told me this week that the marriage ended after he told his exw he had been to an escort. He claims it was just once and that she was a very classy, happy, wealthy, well paid escort and that he went home and told his wife immediately, whereupon her family were big meanies and turned on him (wonder why). His own family are also big meanies for some reason. He doesn't seem to have a relationship with them.
Anyway, when the escort thing came out, I'll admit I was disgusted. I know sex work has been decriminalised and I know some women are happy doing escort work, but I personally don't think much of the men who use them. I don't judge sex workers themselves. I also think it's all a his suspect - just once and he reported it straight to his wife? Is that likely? And why is he talking her all this so soon? I can't help but think he wants to get his version of the truth in first.
I've never met the man and don't plan to unless I have to, (ie, they get married or have a baby). My issue was with how my sister reacted. We have had marriages in our extended family where OW have been involved. Obviously, these were devestating for the families and I was livid with both the married men who did it (our relatives). So was my sister who became truly vicious towards the affair couples. I actually think that she sometimes crossed a line, as she became so aggressive about it, even towards innocent bystanders who didn't agree with her getting so involved. She was also not part of any of the relationships but very much made it her business to be the judge, jury and executioner.
Now she has taken the hump with me because I don't approve of her new fella, who she has known for less than a month btw. She says it is not an affair and is far preferable, because he used an escort. I think it is an affair - he did have sex with another woman, and I also automatically don't immediately trust men who use sex workers. Maybe it was a mistake etc and he is really sorry, but it doesn't sound it. He said and my sister repeated to me and agrees, that it's understandable because he hadn't had sex in his marriage for years.
It sounds as if I'm far too involved in her new relationship, but my issue isn't really with him. It's with her and her reaction to what he's done considering how angry she got, even with me who has never had an affair in my life, because I refused to go as ballistic as she was. I'm talking full on shrieking down the phone to my husband and me, with our toddler in the car, hearing the whole thing "YOU'VE ALL FUCKED ME OVER" etc. Again, this was not go do with one of her relationships, but with other people.
Writing this, I'm remembering again all the nasty stuff she has done to me and I'm beginning to think I need to get her out of my life. But I don't have much by way of family, except DH and dcs, so it seems like a big thing.