To think hes cheating again

[Babymomma76599]

Currently 7 days PP to our third baby.
Iv caught him talking to girls twice in since January 2020 but dont think hes ever done more then that. Forgave him because we have kids & hes all I know.

Hes recently started at the online uni & been paired with a very pretty girl , around our age. (I know this because his emails logged in to my phone because I do alot of admin for him, meaning his numbers sync to my phone, so I've seen what she looks like through whatsapp).
At first he spoke about her, brought up going on holiday which ended up been where she lives.

Since having baby hes been extremely distant, doesn't want to be in the same room as me & when he is hes always on his phone smiling. Hes started always carrying his phone with him. I just tried cuddling him and he turned his phone to the side to check notifications then put his phone facedown.
Hes not tired from having the baby because I do everything so that's not an excuse.

How do I bring it up to him or question it? He can get very defensive &abit of an arsehole if I just straight question it.

Please dont be mean to me for sticking with him

Seven days? Well firstly congratulations on the baby.

This is the last thing you need, but I agree it doesn't look good, do you have much real life support?

No, I have my mum but shes not really an emotional person so its hard to talk to her

Oh OP, I really hope for your sake that you're wrong but it doesn't sound good.

I was just reading another thread where the OP wanted to see her DHs phone and one of the other readers suggested a genius idea of you want to have a look at his phone ......

Let your own phone run out of battery and ask a family member to call you on his phone. After you answer you can wander out the room to chat in private, or give him peace to watch tv etc. You can then minimise the call and scroll through WhatsApp etc. Don't end the call as his screen will lock....unless you know the password.

I'm hoping it's nothing tho & just the stress of the new baby affecting you both. Congratulations btw!

Is this a husband or a partner? If a partner I would ask straight out and ask to see his phone, the guy knows he has been caught out before, if he were worth your heart he would want to put your mind at rest and just offer you his phone.

You had his baby just one week ago, you would be feeling vulnerable anyway and he is acting shifty. Go in saying something like "I have a bad feeling about us, I want to know why you are so attached to your phone and so unattached to me, your partner who gave birth to your child just a week ago". If he expects you to take his word for it, given the circumstances (of past betrayal) you are not unreasonable to say that is not good enough and the only thing that will make you feel better is a walk through his phone (like right fucking now before he deletes anything). If that were my partner with that horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach, and it wasn't like he wants to see my phone every other month or something then I would be way more invested in making him feel secure with me than being defensive about my privacy. I'm a realist I don't believe in blind trust and I really just think that someone with nothing to hide who cares about you will want you to see that there is nothing to worry about. If he wont let you then you know what is going on, you do not need proof or a confession to leave someone who you know deep down is shitting all over you.

If he is your husband then you may need a more underhand way of checking so you have time to get everything in order before filing for divorce.

I think deep down, you know what is going on here.... he is acting dodgy because he is being dodgy. Everything you have written points to that...and he has form for this behaviour.

His phone will hold the proof but do you really need it? He is not being a good husband or a good dad and his behaviour is making you feel like shit.

You want to stay, that's your choice. However, in staying you are also making the decision to accept this behaviour...he is showing no signs of stopping and you are actually questioning yourself as to whether you have the right to ask him. Of course you do. He is getting it very very easy. Snoop...discover and kick his arse out or if you're determined to stay anyway, why not just turn a blind eye. What difference does it make?.

I’m sorry this relationship is not going to last .If he loved you he wouldn’t be able to behave like this .He might stay if he thinks he can have his cake and eat it but you will eventually get sick of living like that.I hope you find the strength to stand up to him