I feel lost, I don’t know where to turn. I have 3dc and a dp. I work away from home weeks at a time. Every time I go home I have to not clean but gut out my house every time that’s all I ever do. I don’t get to do the fun things with children as much as what I want to. My husband is so lazy yes he is finally working but gets 3 days off a week and is perfectly able to do laundry and put clothes away but when I get home my house is always a mess. This has gotten worse from last year and now I’m at the stage of not wanting to go home because I know what my time at home will be like. I have said more than once that I don’t want to come home because of xyz DH tells me to make him a list of things to do etc I have done this before and won’t do it again as I’m just wasting my time. Last October I found out he had a gambling problem and I flipped. I gave up everything to do the job I was doing due to him feeling stressed at his work which he later gave up on. In the meantime he was spending my entire wage on betting. I have full control of finances now I pay everything. He only pays his phone from his wage yet never seems to have any money? We got to the point where we couldn’t live and the job I do is very well paid. This was only supposed to be for a year I’m 3 years later now. DP also does not get on with my mother so will constantly message me when I’m at work and literally the first day I am back home I get told all about it. When I make it known that I’m not happy about something he calls me by my mothers name I don’t find it funny and have said as much he just laughs at me and says well you are.
I want to separate for my own sanity, but I don’t want to give up my boys and don’t want to give up my job either. I hve no idea how to even start this conversation with my DP. I have said more than once that I don’t even want to come home and then he’s all apologetic and then carries on like normal like iv said nothing🤷♀️