Returning to the ‘marital bed’

[Sleepplease1111]

Has anyone successfully gone back to sleeping in the same bed as their partner after years of not?

DP is an extremely light sleeper and does not do well with lack of sleep so since I was pregnant 3 years ago I have been in a separate room to him. Looking ahead to when DC is older I’m thinking I will need to go back but worried that we are both too used to our own space now.

If you are both happy with separate bedrooms then why change it ?.

Keep your separate rooms, it's nice to have your own space and doesn't mean you have no sex life (as I'm sure you know). If you both fall asleep in the same bed and stay asleep, fine, that may happen but having a room of your own is a great thing.

Is that code for "DP is a selfish bastard who has never done a night waking in his life because the poor diddums needs his sleep"? If so, I'd wouldn't be in any rush to move back. If not, I'd probably stay put anyway and enjoy having a whole big bed to myself to starfish in.

same room but two beds?

Surely it makes sense that if you have someone to stay or child wants their own room etc you and DP share a bed but it will take time for both of you to get used to sleeping in the same bed again. What happens on holiday or if you stay in a hotel? Could you try going back into the same bed at weekends initially - I heard Chris Evans talking on the radio about how they have separate rooms in the week when he is working his morning breakfast show (4am start) but when he doesn’t need to be up at weekends then they are in the same room.

I’m 28 and my husband is 38 as you can see by the time 5:27 been up since 3 I don’t sleep well never have , we now sleep in separate beds in different rooms , we have a 2 year old and a baby on the way , i often think about future and think more about the kids thinking it’s strange , I think my husband thinks I’ll move back into our room when baby is here but I have actually been thinking of doing up the room I sleep in (spare room) and making it completely mine I don’t have a single want to sleep in the same room together again it’s not that I don’t love him and we are still together sexually and cuddle up on couch etc ! So I totally understand how you feel it’s hard but If your like me and don’t like sharing that space there should be no issue x

I will need to go back at some point when my DS is too big for his cotbed.

I have said I want a super king size bed and 2 quilts when I return.

We would share if we went on holiday/stayed in a hotel, neither of those have happened in the last 3 years.

He hasn’t got up in the night with DS as I’m BF.

We've been together 30 years, strong relationship, active sex life. But we have had separate rooms for decades. We sleep together on holiday and occasionally at home and it's understood we can always go to the other's bed for cuddles, sex etc. Sleeping apart need not undermine your relationship.

@Jellybabiesforbreakfast

Is that code for "DP is a selfish bastard who has never done a night waking in his life because the poor diddums needs his sleep"? If so, I'd wouldn't be in any rush to move back. If not, I'd probably stay put anyway and enjoy having a whole big bed to myself to starfish in.

Yup that’s what I was thinking too.

Is your child still breastfeeding through the night?

I think I would focus on night weaning if so. If not then it’s possibly time to make the move back and get your son used to being alone.

It’s hard to tell if you’re there for your sake or his now, but ultimately you should do what’s best for your child.

No harm in keeping separate bedrooms