Thinking about another man.

[simpleyellowshoes]

I connected with one of the Dads, who regularly accompanied his reception aged son on zoom... we'd sometimes log on early and say hi, give each a wave, WhatsApp each other during the children's zoom call to say hi or take the mic when we had to dress up or similar. I've now seen him a few times at drop off... masks on and sd so just a quick hello. Anyway... obviously no more zoom calls but I can't stop thinking about him. I feel like we went through the pain of lockdown learning together and he was always so funny on his messages and cheered me up as his sense of humour is pretty dry. We've messaged a few times since the schools have gone back to say about going to the park with the kids a few times after school but in reality he couldn't do this as he works too late. I really miss the connection we had on-line and now I'm daydreaming about us having secret messaging conversations. I can't get him out of my head. We're both married. Has anyone been in a similar position?

It was the school class zoom.

The beginnings of an emotional affair. Nip it in the bud now before this infatuated fantasy develops any further.
How about your husband meeting in the park with the kids and a yummy mummy from school? Little messages and texts here and there. Ask yourself how this would make you feel? I take it your husbands not aware of this.

Thanks - this is what I probably needed to hear. It's wrong. My husband is a dick but we are still married so I need to respect that.

Just remember the grass is not always greener at the other side. You need to nip this in the bud. Imagine how stupid you’ll look if you’re throwing yourself to him and he’s devoted to his wife and family.
You’re married and If your dh is a dick then deal with that objectively whichever way is best for you and separate this from this man you’re thinking about because he’ll just cloud your judgement.

You both crossed a line. This was inappropriate, if his wife and your husband knew nothing about this, but you are at a stage you can easily do the right thing. I have been on the receiving end of flirty texts which turned into a full blown affair and as the betrayed wife it is HORRIFIC. I still suffer high anxiety and PTSD, it is a trauma that takes years to get over. Do not be responsible for doing this to another person. You are seeking something in yourself, not in him. You need to find your own happiness, you need to fill that void in yourself that is there, a married man can not do that for you. Another person cannot do that for you. I realise it is hard but block all contact. One day you’ll look back and wonder why on earth you were even thinking about it. I know it’s hard but it’s honestly the healthiest thing to do for you and your family. Well done for reaching out.

You need to imagine this was your husband, fantasising about another school mum, or a work colleague. Totally disrespectful and hurtful. You need to do better than this OP for yourself and your family.

Ime it isn't the actual man himself but the escapism from a rubbish relationship /marriage...
Rethinking your longterm future is a must.

I remember having an affair in my head, twice actually, and the other person never, ever had any idea what I thought or felt. It passed, it was just a fantasy. However I must say I enjoyed it at the time.
Quite normal too from what I've heard.

In a short while, these feelings will be history, honestly.

@Aprilshowersandhail

Ime it isn't the actual man himself but the escapism from a rubbish relationship /marriage... Rethinking your longterm future is a must.

I loved my husband but I did get fed up with being hard up and where we were living at the time; I was always a bit of an escapist with a sense of adventure and the fantasy was an outlet.

All these years later I can laugh to myself about it but no harm was done. I still fantasise, and escape to a different world sometimes, but my fantasies are more wholesome. I've no wish for a romantic liaison thank you.