Commitment

[Sophisabel]

Hey guys just wanting a bit of advice really.

So I’ve been with my bf coming up 5 years. We have a 1 year old baby together and we live together in a house that I own. I pay the mortgage and most of the bills. He pays the gas, electric and WiFi. He’s helping to do the house up also.
I work really hard and so does he so we are limited to days off together. I saved up money for my mat leave but unfortunately could only afford 5 months off then had to return to work feeling mega guilty. He didn’t support me financially during my mat leave which I found was a struggle.
We have lived here now for 2 years. I really want to buy a property together but he says it’s something to do with the stamp duty that he won’t be able to afford to buy one with me. His house is a rental and he’s making profit on it each month.
We also have separate cars, mine Is a finance one and his is bought outright. I would also like to have a car together but he said he doesn’t want this.
I don’t want to put him on the mortgage as I would like to start over. I feel fed up as we are still not engaged and whenever I bring up weddings at the moment which is rare he just dismisses it.
I work full time hours leaving the house at 6am and sometimes not getting home till 8pm where I then have to cook dinner and sort the babies stuff out for the next day. He baths and puts baby to bed.
I just feel like the only commitment we have is our child and although it’s a bit commitment I just want more. I shouldn’t compare us to friends but I feel very left out and would really like to get married. He said he won’t be able to afford to get a house together for a while and he blames not proposing on the lockdown. The last time we kissed or became close was around 5 weeks ago, he never cuddles me or holds my hand when we are out anymore and I find myself nagging him all the time if I want to go away as a family.
Do I carry on waiting or have a long chat? Not sure what to do thanks

I don't think he wants to commit to you OP, he is just making excuses about stamp duty and covid. He should also have supported you during your maternity leave, it is his child after all.

As it stands at the moment, he can just up and leave if he chooses, no joint mortgage to sort out, no divorce required. Far easier than if you bought a house and got married. Do not put him on your mortgage!

I agree with him re the cars though, I would much rather keep my own than share one with my partner.

He is a cocklodging waste of space. Get rid of this arsehole, claim child maintenance and you will be so much better off. Give yourself the opportunity to meet someone who actually loves and cares for you rather than using and abusing you.

To be completely blunt, I think he is avoiding commitment and you need to look at what the practicalities would be if you split - before you have the conversation.

Would you need to change jobs if he left and was no longer available to do the evening routine with your baby? If you need time to ensure that you have a plan B ready, there's no harm in biding your time for a little while.

Make sure you remain financially independent, his name doesn't appear on the mortgage and therefore you could kick him out at any time - that's a strong position to be in.