been with dh24 years, now find out he is bisexual

[deeplyhackedoff]

tile says it all really. I've been with dh 24 years, married for 15. The dc's snarled up mine (and theirs) computer so I borrowed his whilst he was at work yesterday. He's always been really protective of this and no-one else is allowed to use it, under the guise of the dc's might damge it etc. I find it full of gay images, registration pages for gay dating agencies, hotmail accounts and so on]sad].
I had no idea, I feel so foolish - until lunchtime yesterday i was happily married and now this bombshell.
I talked to him last night, he told me what a relief it was that i knew and he basically just expects us to carry on - he was even after sex last night!
I love him, very much and he says he loves me more than ever, but if so why endanger our relationship, and our dc's happiness with all this

You sound very calm considering the shock you must feel!

I have been in a similar situation although I thankfully (I can say that now)found out 3mths before my wedding.

At first he seemed so relieved that I knew. He was all over me emotionally and physically, wanting sex constantly. He wanted to continue as we were and still get married.
I agreed at first mainly through shock I think but my feelings changed as the days went on. I felt so betrayed. I couldn't have sex with him without wondering what he was thinking IYKWIM. Although I'm sure DH regularly thinks about leggy blondes but at least they're women!

It turned out that he was completely gay and had been trying to convince himself he was bisexual because a) he loved me and wanted a family and b) it allowed him not to have to face up to a different way of life.
I'm not suggesting this applies to your DH, but just be careful on that score. You don't want to go through the whole grieving process, then adjust and accept him only for him to 'come out' as gay and leave you.

Good luck. The shock you're feeling must be shattering especially after so long together. Give yourself time to consider your own feelings.

I am not surprised that you are reeling, and the extent of what has been hidden from you must feel brutal.

But amidst your own shock, try and make time to listen to all he has to say.

The fact that he said he is relieved that you have found out suggests that this has been weighing heavily on his conscience, and he may have spent years in self-denial, self-hatred and guilt. None of this is one jot your fault, of course...he will be able to tell you why he got himself into such a position where he felt the need to hide his feelings.

But he says he loves you more than ever, you love him....find a time, place and situation to talk and listen, tell him your fears, your hurt at the secrecy, - and you can still have your happy marriage if you want it.