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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable?! Bf trouble

20 replies

katiie3 · 03/05/2021 16:33

Hi guys

Met a guy during lockdown. Dating steadily, and progressed into a relationship.

Due to our work and commitments we usually see each other on a weekend. He usually comes over Saturday night and leaves Sunday evening.

We have been seeing our own families/friends in our own bubbles and making time for each other during “lockdown”.

Since lockdown has eased in April, I haven’t seen him. Every chance he has, he is out drinking. I’ve tried making plans but he is always out with boys. The next day he is too hungover to see me etc

I do understand the need to see friends especially during such a hard year. However, at the same time I feel like I’ve been left behind now.

I don’t mind him seeing his friends and then having plans with me too. But his whole week is full with seeing friends/family. I haven’t seen him for 4 weeks and he has plans for the next two weeks too.

I did speak to him and he suggested coming to see me one night in the week. I finish work at 7pm so don’t get home until 8pm. He has to be up at 5am for work so he either stays a couple of hours or leaves 3/4am in the morning, which is not the best for him or myself.

I just don’t see how I fit into his life anymore. There should be some sort of balance surely.

Any advice guys. Xxx

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 03/05/2021 16:34

Although it sounds harsh if he wanted to make time for you, he would. I'd move on...

sapnupuas · 03/05/2021 16:38

He's not interested in continuing a relationship but he's keeping you dangling on as a backup.

Move on. No one should be treated that way.

HollowTalk · 03/05/2021 16:39

He's a teenager and you deserve so much better. Get rid.

romdowa · 03/05/2021 16:40

Sounds like you were just convenient during lockdown. Now that the worlds back open , he is no longer interested. I'm sorry that this has happened to you

Thebookswereherfriends · 03/05/2021 16:41

You deserve to be more than his back up. You were handy while he couldn’t see those he really wanted to see, now he can he’s not interested, but is keeping you on “just in case”. Bin him off.

Original poster
katiie3 · 03/05/2021 16:43

Thanks guy for the replies. A part of me feels so bad for feeling like this especially how hard it has been for people.

I understand the need to see friends and go out but he has been out every weekend drinking since April rules were eased.

He is too hungover to see me the next the day. And if I pushed it. He might do but will probably just sleep on my sofa all day with a sore head.

OP posts:
Aprilx · 03/05/2021 17:30

@katiie3

Thanks guy for the replies. A part of me feels so bad for feeling like this especially how hard it has been for people.

I understand the need to see friends and go out but he has been out every weekend drinking since April rules were eased.

He is too hungover to see me the next the day. And if I pushed it. He might do but will probably just sleep on my sofa all day with a sore head.

I agree with the responses you have had so far. He isn’t interested in you, when a man is interested in you, he doesn’t go four weeks possibly six weeks without seeing you. Time to move on.
Dery · 03/05/2021 17:42

“He isn’t interested in you, when a man is interested in you, he doesn’t go four weeks possibly six weeks without seeing you. Time to move on.”

This with bells on.

I0NA · 03/05/2021 17:45

@sapnupuas

He's not interested in continuing a relationship but he's keeping you dangling on as a backup.

Move on. No one should be treated that way.

This.
LemonTT · 03/05/2021 17:51

I’m sure some columnist or social commentator will start to describe a Lockdown relationship. Something that worked in a time of social isolation but doesn’t survive normality.

Lockdown created an artificial environment for us all. You never got to see the real him and how he behaves. This is it. He’s a weekend drinker who prefers his mates to you.

Things aren’t even that open now and he is too busy. Imagine the summer. It won’t be you and him having picnics on the beach. It will be down the pub with his mates.

SavageBeauty73 · 03/05/2021 17:54

He's not into you. Why can't you go out for a drink with him and his friends? Dump him now and move on. It's not a relationship. Big hugs.

BurbageBrook · 03/05/2021 17:56

Nope.
NEXT.
If you have any self respect you must dump this dickhead. To all intents and purposes he’s dumped you already but hasn’t had the balls to say so.

Happypigc · 03/05/2021 17:57

OP he's not making any time for you. Fair enough to have a busy couple of weeks but this is getting to six weeks! If I were you I'd send one message, just say 'hi, if you fancy meeting up let me know when'. Or preferably just walk away from him. Then you're in no doubt, he's choosing not to make time for you.

Sorry. You can find someone better Flowers

BumBurnerBum · 03/05/2021 18:01

Yes it is sad but looks like you were used. If he wanted to see you he would. Sorry I don't intend that to be harsh but you can still walk away with your dignity and find someone worthy of your time and who will prioritise you.

Cloudfrost · 03/05/2021 18:01

Dump him and move on, he probably won't even notice until/if there is another lockdown. You deserve more

Mylittlepony374 · 03/05/2021 18:01

He's just not that in to you. You deserve better. You can do better. I know it seems harsh but get rid now. Someone who cared would make time for you.

sampamsnan · 03/05/2021 18:04

This is probably just what he's like in general and you're only seeing it now

Fireflygal · 03/05/2021 18:08

You are just an option to him. This isn't a relationship and if you want more then don't let him treat you like this

RachelRaven · 03/05/2021 18:11

He is too hungover to see me the next the day. And if I pushed it. He might do but will probably just sleep on my sofa all day with a sore head.

Does this sound like an appealing future for you?

If not, move on.

BuggerBognor · 03/05/2021 21:57

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