down in the dumps

[1angelwings1]

Just here to vent dont have irl friends except work colleagues. Im just feeling pretty down as far as work, relationships and children go. My job is very stressful nothing I do seems to get much appreciation, Im a supervisor and so when others slack I get it in the shit not them. I continue to be on their case and no improvement. It wears me down to the point I want to cry or quit. My partner and children rely on me with this job so I cant just quit. I love my boys dearly but they just dont listen to me especially when they are together they hurt each other they are forever in time out or having treats taken away. Even my partner wont listen to me or acknowledge that I need help in terms of juggling everything. Somedays I want space and he says he doesnt understand why, he thinks im trying to get rid of him and kids. I have a upcoming day trip with a relative which I told him about now he denies I even told him and sulks because now me and him dont get the day together. Why am I getting treated like a doormat. The kids I can just about handle as boys will be boys. But other adults just treat me like a pushover. I want to give up most days and stay in bed tell them all to fuck off I'm sorry to be blunt but this is how I feel.

Anyone 😭

Look up assertiveness on the internet. It gives you 'scripts' so you can say what you want without either being aggressive or a pushover. Good luck! x

I have had a look at the assertiveness but I don't think it's the way I approach or talk to people. I genuinely think they refuse to listen. And with my partner it's more like if he does something I ask he wants something out of it otherwise it won't get done. Over time it's become doing nothing because I'm not rewarding someone to do more instinctive duties

I could of written this post. I am in the same position as you. I get put on so much by work that it stresses me out so bad that I don't want to go back the next day. I can't just quit my job either as my partner and daughter rely on my job. I have no real life friends just work colleagues. I feel like I'm banging my head up against a brick wall. I never get time to myself either just the drive to work and back. My partner doesn't understand that he gets between the school hours Mon to Friday to himself.

It becomes so overwhelming that I get anxiety. I want to just scream and just let it all out with my partner but I don't as I just want to keep the peace and he won't understand how I'm feeling.

What consequences are there for any of these people? Words are no good if not backed up by consequences in a lot of cases.

It really is just a shit situation and are you resenting partner? I know I am all this free time he has during school hours not lifting a finger. I tell him again and again to help out more but itll be OK for a couple daysthen back to doing nothing

We are understaffed right now so the company wont rid anyone so it's basically having to put up with it. Partner- I've gave him consequences if he wants to live in a pigsty he can leave. He knows i rely on him however for weekend childcare. I have that gut feeling if we split he would punish me in terms of not having the children when I have work

You do all the work, yet you talk of him punishing you.

This isn't healthy there must be another way.

I think sadly lots of women feel frazzled with coping with working, most of childcare and home running. Men generally think we enjoy housework i think! It feels like everyone wants a piece of you, like you are someone to everyone, wife, mum, employee, daughter etc. It can be exhausting.

Can you sit your DH down and talk to him seriously about how you feel?

To be honest your partner sounds like a bit of a dick. You're supposed to be a team, but he doesn't seem to do much to support you. Just sulks when you say you're doing something (in regards to the day trip out) and 'doesn't get it' when you say you need some space/time for yourself. And he won't do anything to help out unless there's something in it for him?! What exactly does he bring to the relationship?

I was once told to ignore bad behaviour. It was so difficult to implement although works when you know how. I've had 3ds and 1dd they are all older now and my youngest is 16today. Exp your dh didn't forget about your day trip he is behaving inappropriate saying he didn't remember ignore him and carry on with your day without his emotional clap trap. You must be firm with your colleagues to. Look at them with the fact that you are their supervisor and new staff are easy to come by ATM. I get from your post that you are emotionally exhausted and may be a day out with your relative would do you good being a mother of sons and being a supervisor is naturally exhausting anyway and imo you dh should be more supportive. Good luck op. I believe posts like this makes mumsnet a good place for like minded people to be.