Break between relationships

[Tornfuture123]

Hello, I have been in a relationship for nearly two years that’s turned abusive and isn’t progressing. It needs to end pronto especially as I would like to settle down and start a family - I’m late 30s and the clock is ticking. Usually I would end a relationship and have a good break before starting dating again. And especially so in these circumstances where I’ve been on the receiving end of some very toxic behaviours. However I don’t have a huge amount of time to spare and I’ve reconnected with an old friend and we are meeting up soon. Our conversations have been flowing and lots of flirting and keeness to catch up and find out about each other. My friend is from a long time ago, and we used to fancy each other. Not sure if we still will, but I think that’s what we want to find out. He’s been kind, and sweet and very complimentary about my accomplishments in life and my body (I used to work out) etc. Meanwhile my boyfriend just criticises me for not working out anymore, not eating healthily, not being toned despite being healthy etc.

Anyway I am meeting my old friend soon and let’s suppose, we fancy each other, and hit it off romantically. I will of course end it with my boyfriend - I need to end it anyway. I’m just worried I may need time to recover before potentially starting a new relationship. I’ve encountered many difficulties in the past year which have weighed me down and I’m just not as full of energy as I used to be and I’m worried about not being my best for a new relationship.

Also, as toxic as my boyfriend is, I am still attached to him and would obviously miss him in the initial stages of a break up. That being said, I wouldn’t want him to hold me back if things go well with my old friend.

I am looking for thoughts and guidance on my situation. Thank you.

My thoughts are that your self-esteem must be low to a) put up with the abuse instead of ending it and b) only be willing to end it if it works with this other man. If you can't cope without a man in your life, that is a problem.
End the relationship whether or not it works with the other guy.

Thanks. I will be ending it pronto either way.

My question is more around what to do - take a break between relationships?

Oh and I can do without a man. I’ve always enjoyed being singled. But my time is running out to start a family. And I certainly won’t be starting one in my current relationship.

Then why not end it now with currently boyf , why are you going on a potential date first? Just end it

So basically you want to monkey branch by waiting to see whether the new guy is a good bet before ending it with your current boyfriend.

You claim you’re gonna end it with boyfriend either way, but that’s clearly bullshit or you’d be doing it instead of spending endless time messaging and flirting with the new guy. You’re essentially having an emotional affair and waiting to make sure the grass seems greener before dumping your boyfriend.

Pretty gross tbh, I’d say you’re definitely not ready for a relationship of any kind if this is how you treat people.