Ending things

[Savoretti]

I’m going to end things with my DP tonight and I feel so bad about letting him down and making him sad... but whilst we have had a great time together (and still do) I just can’t see a future in this and I don’t want to string him along.
There’s no way to do this nicely is there?

Be honest, that is the nice way to do it. You might find he feels the same.

DP and I began that chat yesterday. Don't live together, but in a relationship for 5 years and bubbled during lock down. We're meeting next week to decide what we want to do next. But I know I want out! I'm absolutely devastated but this last Lockdown has killed any sense of fun we had as a couple. My sympathies x

@Ihatesandwiches I know that’s what I want too. I don’t really even know why just a deep gut feeling it’s the right thing. Just feel sick at the thought of telling him but as @Srirachachacha says honesty is the best policy. I’d hate someone to be with me if they weren’t 100%

How long have you been together @Savoretti?

About two years. I have children, he doesn’t and this is where the problems stem from. Weekends I don’t have mine I don’t always want to spend all my time with him. But because he spends a lot of time alone he gets very resentful if I don’t spend all my free time with him. I just want some space to be me for a while

I broke up with my ex last weekend, it's been coming for months. He initiated it and was clearly terrified at how I was going to react, but it turned into me doing most of the talking. It might not be as bad as you think.

I hope it goes OK

You can do it op. It’s the part about making DP/DH sad which was/is the hardest for me too. But you must ask yourself, what is kindest, stringing him along maybe for years, or letting him go and letting him have a chance at happiness with someone else?

Break ups are hard no matter what end of it you are at. But @Srirachachacha is right, it is best to be honest. You just have to work up the courage and say it, after that you will feel much better.

I’ve done it this morning
It was hard. He was very sad, a little angry and I had to stay firm while he was thinking of all the ways we should stay together.
@minniemouseshouses as you say I don’t want to string him along as that’s even more unfair. I would love for him to find someone more free with time who can offer him more than I can.
The very fact that I really feel that means I’ve done the right thing I guess. I won’t necessarily be jealous as I think that’s a better scenario for him.

@Savoretti Well done. Follow your gut feeling. You’ve done something right. He will be fine, and so will you :)

@Savoretti
Oh you clever girl. I am so proud of you. Great job for saying it and staying strong. You did the right thing. Just stay strong and have an amazing life.

@loveyourself2020 I’m hanging on to the words of your username (well the updated version )

[quote Savoretti]@loveyourself2020 I’m hanging on to the words of your username (well the updated version )[/quote]
@Savoretti
Glad to be an inspiration to you. I created this username last year and it was my New Years' resolution. Then Covid hit and messed it all up, but I am hoping that this year it will all come true. All the best to you my dear.