I want a family but have so many doubts

[Birdy2]

Hi all,

I'm at a crossroads with a relationship of almost 5 years, most of which has been long distance. He lives abroad and cant enter the uk due to passport so l usually fly to visit several times a year. Here's the thing, I know he's not a good match for me. I'm highly driven, not necessarily towards money or career, but I'm always working on something, carving away at goals and dreams. He's so lazy, has always been given everything, always had help, never been self reliant. I've been independent from a young age and have experienced a lot in my life without support, financial or emotional. I'm really unhappy with my life in the UK, I have no purpose, all my mates are busy with their families, I go from job to job, just keeping my head above water.. so I have decided to sell my house in the uk with a view to move to be with my partner, start a family, live closer to nature and my artistic dreams. But, I feel such a sense of unease as though I'm ignoring my gut. I'm 35. I dont trust easily and actually cant remember the last time a man made me look twice let alone want to learn more about him. I know I'm settling but is this so unusual? The only thing I want now is a family of my own and I'm aware that I'm running out of time.

Would really love some advice.

Thanks, B

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?.

What do you get out of this relationship now exactly?

You and he are so poorly suited and completely different in outlook and life experiences and yet you're considering having a child by him in his country of birth?. Why would you do that to yourself let alone a child?. You have not thought this through at all and your boundaries here need urgent revision.

Is he to you really a fixer-upper or a project?.

End this non relationship you are in asap and deal with your issues pertaining to feeling without purpose and not being able to trust easily through therapy. Where did all that start with you?. What happened to you?.

... start a fresh and find someone closer to home who is on the same page as you, and someone who you feel you would like to have children with x

Is this for real?? Moving abroad and chucking everything to live with a lazy manchild has disaster written all over it.
Have you not already wasted enough precious fertile years on him?

If you're seriously considering this and this isn't a joke post, in the kindest possible way, going for therapy is good.option here.

Break up with him and start looking for a husband here in the UK. If needed, move to another UK location so you're closer to nature/have a job you prefer.