Need some straight answers please.

[Jojojo32]

So my girls dad and I broke up Xmas 2019.
Hes SAID about getting back together ever since. I say SAID because his actions say otherwise.
He suggest we went to the beach 4 the day has a family for the girls.
From the moment picked him up was all about us being together us being a Family etc.
Had a great morning...
Untill he starts being shady n was messaging someone else in front of me.
Now I was so upset. He thinks I'm crazy doesn't get why I am upset after going out for the day with him listening to him go on constantlu about us. His point of view is he doesn't know where he stands with me I don't tell him I want him back etc. Which I don't. I was thinking maybe we could give it another go n see how today goes. He said he didn't know he was having a test to prove himself otherwise it would be me Only.
as much has I am upset he's right tho ain't it? He can tell me what he wants but it's down 2 me to listen 2 him or not. My head is mashed aswel has my heart 😔

Sorry for the awful spelling so upset I don't know why x

I really wouldn't bother contemplating getting back with him, he's messaging another woman and he wouldn't be doing that if he was serious, how disrespectful and hurtful to do that in front of you. The family days out are are confusing for you all, try and come to a amicable agreement over the contact with the children.

That's the bit I'm confused on.
He says he's serious but can't wait 4 me forever.. Not that I asked him to wait I just wanted 2 see what happened be patents 2 the girls and see in time. He looks at it like he's tried with me n got no where.
I feel like we have just broke up again and gotta get over him all over again. We was getting on so well.

He isn't committed to trying with you or waiting for you to be ready. He's lining other women up in case you decide not to try again. A man who really wanted to be with you, would give you the time you need and not be looking for a new model while he does.

Honestly I would draw a line under your relationship and stop confusing things with family days out. You need to try and distance yourself and focus on co parenting, without all the other stuff clouding things.

Judge him by his behaviour, not his words. No more 'family' days out, arrange regular contact with the DC without you there and keep all other communication to a minimum

I'll give you a straight answer. He's a fucking dickhead and will never be faithful to you.

You're confused? That's because he won't follow your script (which is reasonable with 2 girls to think about). Stop with the 'family days' because you aren't a family.

He is playing with your head - he's saying, take me as I am, or I'll fuck about with other women. Newsflash - he has fucked about with other women in front of your face, and will fuck about with other women whatever you do anyway.

Fuck him right off and have nothing to do with him other than handovers, that's my advice.

Straight answer - tell him fuck off.

He's stringing you along.

Thank you. I needed to hear that.
I've litrally ignored him for the last 14months or so, these last couple of weeks I've been slipping. Letting him 'pop in" etc now family day out which was horrible in the end, dunno what i was thinking.

Aw lass, hope is not a crime, but hopeless is a fact. A mutually respectful relationship with him is hopeless, have done.

Your right thank you. I was hopeful was brought back down to reality lol. Dunno y I am so upset.
I'm never gunna have a family unit. I want family days weekends away, which I do do with my children but always alone.

You are upset because (well, because he's a game playing untrustworthy twat) you have an idea in your head. This idea is that the proper family is a woman with a man and they love each other. They parent together, happily.

The proper family is the one where the needs of the kids are seen to by a primary carer. That's you. So you know what, you have a proper family.

I know, I know. Nobody likes the truth. You're it and he gets to run away. Life is (hopefully) long though. Your kids will grow and you will be able to form meaningful relationships in the future.

Seek counselling though, if you can. Where I live, there's a place which does person centred counselling for free, this is unusual, I know. But there's a reason why you fell for this bullshit. You have 2 kids by him, I expect there's all kinds of shenanigans you've put up with.

Don't be confused. He's demonstrated his feelings towards you. He doesn't care, and the rest is up to you. All power to you, lady. X

Thank you again for your advice, he's so not worth it,
I've had a good think and feeling alot better today, think I just panicked and thought that's it I'm Never gunna have this again.

Well little update, I found out today he's expecxting twins with one of his ex fwb........ He denied it then said yes then said he doesn't want to be involved lol.
I was shocked but I'm so glad it's her n not me. She can deal with him now, I can move on finely 😊

All power to you again. Don't go back, you are well rid x