In a mess

[Orangepink75]

In a mess and needing help. What to do? I’ve lost my dc and am at a loss.

Dropping in a hand to hold

Would you like to talk about it op?

What has happened?
Where are your children?

If you would like help and support, you are going to need to share a little more about the circumstances. I appreciate that that can be easier said than done.

They’re with my stbx, sadly don’t want to see me any more as they blame me for the breakup. It’s breaking my heart.
Thank you for replying, I appreciate it.

How old are they? And why do they blame you? Can you speak to them?

I left my dh after 24 years due to coercive control. I ended up In hospital for 4 weeks and have been unable to return. My dc blame me for the break up and are refusing contact. It’s been 18months now and I’m missing them so much, it breaks my heart.

They’re currently 15 & 13, 14 & 12 when I went to hospital. They blame me because I couldn’t cope looking after a young adult. Their dad wanted to continue looking after the young adult but I couldn’t continue. He chose looking after her over me but my dc say I shouldn’t have made him choose.

Sadly they won’t speak to me, they’ve blocked me on the phone and email

Are you the same person who's started several threads over the last couple of weeks?

Who is the young adult? Your child?

So who's the young adult, OP?

Who is the young adult?

Who’s the young adult?

Just look after you for now and work on becoming a happier version of before.

Take the time to find you and let them I'm their own thing, it may well work out for the best.

OP ... perhaps you need to, just for now, focus on getting yourself well, physically and mentally. 🌸

I’ve not started a thread in years. The young adult is someone we took into our family and ‘fostered’ although she was 19 when she came to us.

I feel that there is so much more to this. How did you come to take a young adult into your home? Is she a family member? Is your STBX a good father to your children?

This sounds really very difficult op. I'm sorry. We're here to hand hold

You visited Hospial for 4 weeks and when discharged, you didn't go back to the family home? Your children have now stopped communicating with you, and it's been 18 months?
What is your DHs relationship to this girl? You say she was 19 when she came to you, so she's around 21 now? And what part does she play in all of this?

Are your stbx and ‘foster child’ in a relationship?

I think you need to give more information if you want advice OP.

Or if you’re just here to vent, then let it all out.

She’s not a family member although she thinks of me as mum. I met her through work and we took her on in a professional capacity.
My stbx and the young person are not n a relationship. She left the family home 14 months after me. We have a good relationship as mother & daughter.
My 2 dc are cross that she’s left and are cross that I told their dad I couldn’t cope. They refuse to speak through me which breaks my heart.

Hugs x

Why did you feel unable to cope with her in the family home? Was her behaviour a cause for concern?

Thank you for the support. I miss my dc so
much. Life is hard.

Yes, her behaviour was a danger to me and I worried every day about my own safety.