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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Worried about sister and her bf

3 replies

JustynaEwa · 01/05/2021 13:03

My younger sister is 18 and I've always looked out for her because she's a shy, timid girl who lacks assertiveness. She agrees to just about anything to avoid conflict or upsetting people.
At uni she was approached by a guy 10 years older (mature student), he kind of showered her with compliments and sent her a card saying how much he liked her.
She told me she wasn't that into him and not attracted but she started dating him anyway (feel to shy to say no, which she would have preferred to do).
Fast forward a few months and this guy is asking her for money all the time, just the odd couple of pounds here and there. He lives in a grotty bedsit with a shared bathroom which is absolutely filthy, she dreads visiting him. He's also starting neglecting his own personal hygience, she says he makes excuses not to wash his clothes (too busy usually), wont clean his teeth and stinks of BO. My little sister is so pretty and adorable, takes a lot of time in her appearance. It breaks my heart to see her with someone like this. He just seems like a sponger and taking her kindness and generosity for granted. WWYD?

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 01/05/2021 13:06

Be there for her. She probably won’t listen just now but there will be pieces that need picked up in the not too distant future.

Quartz2208 · 01/05/2021 13:08

Help her work on her boundaries and assertiveness OP. If she is dating him and doing stuff simply because she cant say no he will not the last person to take advantage of her. She needs help in recognising that her own needs and boundaries should be respected and are the most important that she has.

And if she needs help in removing him by you asserting that to him

Bananalanacake · 01/05/2021 13:59

Hope that he doesn't suggest they live together. Be there for her, really hope she sees the light and knows she deserves better.

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