"I am just interested to hear from ladies who have split up from DHs/DPs and want to remain single "
Op, i think this sentence is the key here. I am twice divorced now. My first divorce when i was 33 and my second when i was 48. 2 long relationships. On both occasions i divorced, basically all my friends disappeared. Mum friends, married friends. I have always worked and had my own home so never came out badly of the divorces iyswim. The first div one of my friends told me she couldn't be my friend anymore as my life was going in a different direction??? It wasn't, i was still me, still doing the same things. I found out yrs later , from her, that her husband had made a remark to her about how smart i looked in my work clothes at a time when they were having issues in the marriage. For some reason she felt it was then necessary to bin me off! Pretty much all my circle at that time disappeared. She had, when i saw her , by that time left her husband and was living with her DC's at her parents. She was interested then in renewing the friendship but i declined.
I rebuilt my life , re married, made new friendships, sch mums neighbours, colleagues that sort of thing. Then when i divorced a few yrs ago, exact same thing. Everyone disappears!! A dear friend that i had had for 8 yrs, did stuff with the kids together, kids were great friends, used to go walking twice a week
with, go for coffees, really happy fun friendship , basically cut off all contact the day i told her i was divorcing. I know she was unhappy in her marriage as she had often told me. She told me she could never afford to leave as her house was her husbands, and he had ring fenced it before they married, they had then remortgaged a few times over the yrs to go on lavish holidays and remodel the hse etc so any equity that she was entitled to and had been accrued together, after the marriage , had gone and now needed to be built up again. She said she couldn't leave as she could never have a hse like that on her own etc and if she left there was nothing left for her to receive at present. About a yr after she had ghosted me i received an email from her. She had heard my Dad had died. She basically emailed to say she was sorry to hear about my Dad etc and basically then went on to say that the life i now had is the life she would want for herself and therefore she cannot be around me! I didn't reply.
Basically other divorced women i spk to have experienced same. I am now single and will never marry again, share my finances or live with anyone. I do date though ( pre covid) and have nights out to shows/dinner / day trips that sort of thing. I notice now that this choice i have made for myself to remain single but enjoy myself, does not seem to sit right with female friends either so it seems i am damned if i do and dammed if i don't. I have female acquaintances but would not call them friends. They will come to mine for coffee etc but wont go out and never have me at theirs. I am basically so used to coping alone now that i am used to it and do not put any effort into female friendships as i do not see them as genuine and lasting.
I really do not know what to advise Op as i have not figured this out myself. Maybe the answer is to keep your self busy, social clubs, walking clubs, eve class that sort of thing and see if you meet anyone like minded. I have work, my youngest DC still at home , although that will not be too long. I have a walking club and the odd work do ( pre covid) , neighbours but i would not class anyone as a friend in the true sense of the word. If i want to go somewhere i usually go alone if my Dc's are not interested in going. I do not feel lonely strangely. I did feel lonely however when i did have " friends" and they let me down. I feel free to be honest. Hope it all works out for you Op.