Ex as new partner

[Lounew]

Hi so I've just found out my violent angry abusive ex has just announced his engagement to a family friend 10 years younger than me and it's broke my heart we seperated a year ago but I always wanted to fix things and know it probably for the best but my heart is broken plz help

You got this. It just takes time.

I was completely floored when my ex left. I loved him completely. Even though he was emotionally abusive. That is how they get you and keep you.

He kept telling me it will work out fine. Like you. I said of course it will. What are the other options?

This will ease in time I promise. I remember crying everyday at the start and it was consuming me. Now it is all just in the past.

Stay strong and be kind to yourself

OP .. you can do this.. and good luck with your new job 🌺

Well done op, it might take time and it might be difficult at times, but you got this, you are an amazing person that deserves so much more than your ex ever offered you. And congratulations on your new job

Sorry you are going through this OP.

Like many others who have shared their experiences, I also felt like this when my ex met a new partner.
He was emotionally draining the life out of me.
He was violent when I was pregnant.
He was a massive cocklodger and manchild into the bargain. I would have said I hated him and was only amicable because of our daughter.
When I found out he was with someone I felt like I had been punched in the stomach for weeks. I cried. I used excuses to contact him. I poured my heart out to him. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat.
Then I thought to myself 'what if he turned up right now and wanted me back?' I didn't want him back! I couldn't ever live with him again!
That was a bit of a turning point for me. I did the freedom programme online. I read and read everything I could about breaking free from a narcissist and I read about trauma bonds, healing and looking to the future. It's all chemical OP and the problem is your head can tell you 100 times a day this man is not worthy of you, but these chemicals are actually craving him. Like an addiction.
Arm yourself with knowledge OP. It really is power. And once you start to heal you will never look back.
Hope you are better today OP

THANK U everyone lillypup you make so much sense I've realised he is a no one and the only thing that made him special was me !!!! I want to do the freedom.program but didn't know u can do it online ?, new job new life no more looking back for me thank u all

@Lounew - " How can he be so cruel"?

Really? Because he is a psychopath. I don't know how old you are, apologies if you said earlier up the thread and I have forgotten but you said you met him at 15. This cannot be new behaviour. You will have tolerated this for years and years, trapped by children, treated to the boiling frog treatment so you don't realise it's happening and think it is normal.

He probably doesn't think he is being 'cruel' because if he is a psycho he won't realise that. He is not worth a minute of your thoughts.

Like others have said, get looking up the Freedom Programme and check out this book. www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

He truly is worthless scum, and feel sorry for the poor sap who has got 'engaged' to him. Because if they get married, I am Kate Middleton. He will show his true colours to her before too long.

Good luck to you and all the best with your new job.