If you went on 3 or 4 dates a week, were you really attracted to all these people?

[ItsDietCokeForMe]

I keep reading comments from people saying they went on 3 or 4 dates a week.

I'm in a fairly large city so should have a good dating pool, but spent half an hour on Bumble and only ended up with 2 matches, which ended up fading out.

I read profiles carefully and obviously have my own check list, but I really don't think I'm harsh.

I find it really odd. I was OLD for 6 months and went on 4 dates. Just not attracted to enough other people or the chat was dull/faded out.

My 3rd date worked out and we've been together for 2 years now.

I went on 4 dates over the Easter weekend and fancied 2 of them. Unfortunately neither of them worked out.
But yes like you I usually struggle for matches and good conversations

I did online dating and met 5 men. I find it impossible to tell if I find someone attractive from a photo, there are other things like how they speak / body language / their physical presence I like. So I can understand dating lots of men in the hope that there is a spark with one of them. As it happens I didn’t fancy the two most conventionally attractive and did fancy the one with the softest, sexiest phone voice. I’m still with him two years later.

I can't really tell if I find someone completely attractive from a photograph, but I can tell if I don't. Obviously there is a chance someone has a fantastic personality but I would hope that comes through in their profile, and I don't fancy the torment of awkward coffees with strangers in the off chance!

Some of my past relationships have been with men I would never have looked twice at if I just saw a photograph. But we happened to meet in the real world and clicked. So I'm not too fussy with who I swipe on, obviously not on men I definitely know I really won't find attractive but if I'm not sure and something in their profile seems OK I'll have a chat and go for a drink to see. I just think you can never know unless you have that sparky feeling you can only get face to face. I've had good online chats with men who I think will be attractive then nothing when we meet so it works both ways.

I also slightly widen search distance and age.

I think men particularly often don’t photograph well. Unlike women who are generally quite comfortable asking their friends to take some nice photos for their dating profile and generally take more photos anyway, a lot of men only really go for occasion photos - hence so many men’s dating profile photos are a) them competing in sporting event; b) them a bit awkward in a suit at mate’s wedding; c) them in a group on a lads night out; d) them engaging in random hobby like fishing or cycling; e) them with small niece or nephew. If you aren’t immediately attracted, sometimes it’s worth thinking about whether they have any features you could potentially be attracted to, if you also like their profile.

I date with an open mind. If I think somebody is attractive, their profile interests me, and within a few messages they seem like somebody I have decent rapport with then I’m more than happy to arrange to meet for a drink and see if any of it transfers to real life. But I enjoy dating - in my view, what’s not to like? Meeting new people, going to a nice bar, having a conversation and seeing the world from somebody else’s perspective: even if it turns out we don’t fancy each other then it’s still been an evening well-spent.