Dh not interested in sex!!

[emz31]

guess i have the opposite prob to most in that i'd quite like to get back into action again, but DH just isn't interested - gave birth 4 months ago and am BF. has he just stopped fancying me after seeing the delightful experience that is childbirth? - he says not, but everytime i go near him he makes excuses - beginning to feel like a nymphomaniac for even suggesting it! - anyone else experienced this?

My dh was the same - turned out that he was just knackered - the shock and change to the routine etc. Good Luck xx

Have you said anything to him??

cheers, i suppose it is a bit knackering, plus he has to work all day. how long did it take for you to get back into the swing of things (so to speak)?

similar problems here, have alook at Dissapointed with your sex life threads under Relationships(3 so far) and you'll see how others deal/have dealt with it.

It's only been 4 months since you had your baby so he may well be tired from all teh stress he's under?

men are funny creatures. They get affected by pregnancy and babies.

After I had my first baby, dh wouldn't come anywhere near me. I think it was the shock of a small baby coming out of my body that did it. I sat down at talked to him about it and we started with small things like cuddling in bed, kissing, etc...but it is really hard to do anything with a young baby in the house(and in your room!)

I would suggest talking to him about how he is feeling. I hope all goes well.

thanks guys, we do talk to some extent, but he really isn't too keen on a full on sex discussion (it was bad enough talking about making a baby!!) just a bit concerned as i read somewhere of couples splitting up over the fact that the man had seen a baby coming out of his wife's bits and couldn't bear to go near her anymore! - i know that's a bit extreme as DH is practically perfect, guess i should just take it slower and not try to pounce on him the minute DS goes for a nap!!! i mean it's not as if we were exactly at it like rabbits before anyway!!

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dp is much same - suddenly not interested in sex ....& i feel im pestering if i suggest it....best idea is to talk nevermind how embarassing u find it.... i did...turns out that far from hating the sight of my body (which i was beginning to feel) he was actually just exhausted & knackered from work. Takes the pressure off when u know the reason behind it...plus he makes bit more effort know he knows im missing it

Ia gree with Wigand Robe - I too gave birth to our DD 4 months ago and DP and i ahve managed the deed a few times now.

However, when i first felt ready things didn;t quite go to plan - i wasn't as comfortable with it as i thought and we were both really nervous as i'd had stitches - it took ages for DP to come anywhere near me after that.
Anyway, glad to say things are back to normal now.
I'm sure your DP will be fine - if you can i would suggest talking about it - or if he wouldn't like a full blown discussion about it just say to him "I feel like i amready now but obviously you aren't but i just wanted to let you know i am comfortable for things to resume as before".

Out of interest, was it like this before having your DS/DD or has it just developed since the birth?

Hi emz-i was like you and wanted to about 3 months after birth of dd, but dp was reluctant. After a talk it came out he was just afraid of hurting of me.
I also agree with others that he may be a bit zonked at the moment!

xx

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whot's SEX?
seem to have a vague recollection, but can't be sure!!!

Oh emz31 Our dd is three and we are trying for no2 for about 1 yr dh has been of and on sex for about 6yrs says that it's not just women, he shows he loves me in everyother way. I put it down to he had lots of sex before me.... he was and is my first arhhh but we have it every month(not good when your ttc ) but a baby's head coming from below did me no favours

good luck xxx

Thanks all, glad to hear i'm not the only one going through this - although do feel a bit embarassed that i haven't actually had sex now for about a year!! - guess i'll just bite the bullet and have a heart to heart. also we've been so busy each weekend and have only just got rid of MIL and various other rellies after an extended weekend stay - not conducive to nights of passion! - i'll keep you all posted - wish me luck! x

Oh I feel sooo normal now. Reading through all your messages makes me feel better. I haven't been as interested in getting intimate now for a couple of years. Having two young children is draining. After having them climbing all over you and taking every ounce of your energy through the day is bad enough. By the time they are in bed I'm quite happy just to be left alone, by myself. Still fancy hubbie - just don't fancy 'it' right now.