Newly separated

[K8ECupcake21]

Anyone have experience of trying to live under the same roof whilst separating/divorcing. I am the one who has initiated it as I have been unfaithful but not financially in a position to move on until agreement reached. Struggling with how to be around my Husband and Son. Hate hurting them any more than I have.

Bumping x

Hi OP, it's incredibly hard. I'm going through the same and have had had to mentally distance myself to try and avoid the emotions. I don't know how to PM on here, but please feel free to PM me if you know how to. Happy to chat it through with you, I know how lonely it is

I'm currently in the exact same position as your husband, wife was unfaithful and has decided to leave our marriage to be with OM and I can tell you its absolutely devastating. I don't know your circumstances but I would say it may be best to give your husband space, he is going to need a while to process all of this.

You don't say if he was willing to work things out but I will give you this from the position I am in where I did want to work things out but as above wife wants out to be with OM, if that's your situation your really in a catch22 because whatever you do is likely going to cause emotional distress to both Husband and Son (depending on age), acting as though everything is normal or pulling away and giving space is going to feel like you don't care.

As you have been unfaithful I recommend you fully acknowledge that and try not to blame your circumstances or Husband (again I don't know your circumstances and I know this isn't straightforward) for the choices you made, and learn why you made a such a destructive choice. Out of all of your options I would try and create space between you as it will be the only thing I believe that will help him process what's happened and move on.

I know I've made a few assumptions as my opinion is based on my circumstances and being on the other side. Good luck and hopefully things will get better for all involved soon.

@FiredHusband2021....Thanks for your reply. My OH has not once said he wants to work things out, he has filed for divorce and before I told him about the OM agreed with everything I had said about our marriage. We have basically become like best friends, we get on great but he does his thing and always has and I now want to do mine. I know I would have ended it when my youngest was older but meeting the OM has sped things up for me. I fully acknowledge my infidelity and am ashamed I have hurt my family but my marriage was not what it should be and I think we all deserve to be happy. Thank you, I will give him space and I hope he can view it as setting each other free as all I want is for our kids to have 2 happy patents who can continue to get along like they always have but maybe a different version to what we currently have. Wish you well with your journey too and I understand how devastating it is as this is painful for everyone.