I've told my husband we are over

[DearTeddyRobinson]

Married for 10 years, 2 dc age 5 & 8. He drinks too much, doesn't pull his weight. Told me last year he was bisexual . I've been the main breadwinner and chief cook/housekeeper/organiser of kids since day 1. I'm 46. I'm so so tired of all his shit.
I'm mostly calm but a bit sad, and worried about the kids. I really want to keep the house - I bought it with the proceeds of selling my flat and a mortgage, and I've been paying the mortgage the entire time. He's on career number 3 since we got married while I'm just boringly doing all the drudge work.

In a very similar position myself. 2 months have passed though since I ended it and we're still in the same house! I hadn't thought about how long separating would take. He wants to buy a flat. He has no money. I can't afford to buy him out (part time, wouldn't get a mortgage on my income) so a bit stuck. He has become so bloody nice though, and doing all the jobs around the house he never did before. He's trying to reverse it I think. He can't but at least he's not being nasty. Hang on in there (as I'm telling myself too!).

I'm afraid I don't but if you put the general area that you live in, there is a chance someone on here might have one.

Otherwise, ask in work, ask friends.

There is no point in paying money out and not getting the best result.

I regret being so wishy-washy in my divorce. She got the family home and I got the kids for most of the time, and moved into rented accomodation. I felt bad about the break up and let that colour my attitude to the settlement. My pension is screwed, and I can only afford a much smaller place, but at least it's a clean break.

It sounds like he won't have the gumption or money for a fight, so you can set the terms. You absolutely don't want to go to court. The financial agreement should take account of who has custody - you need a bigger place than him. The court tends to take less account of who contributed in the first place - it looks at current needs. Push for what you want, and you can always compromise if he calls your bluff.

I'm hoping mine will settle out of court
When we used to argue in the past he used to tell me I'd have to go cap in hand to my family to get rid of him. Always used to belittle my shit job and crap wage
Then last year I got a totally unexpected substantial inheritance and you could tell it rattled him
He can have half the equity and what he had in his savings plus a little extra but I think he's expecting more but he can go whistle .
He says it unfair that I get to keep the house and carry on as if nothing has happened but he should have thought about that before thinking our 1 year old was an appropriate drinking buddy for a Sunday morning session
Prick

@fedup078

I'm hoping mine will settle out of court When we used to argue in the past he used to tell me I'd have to go cap in hand to my family to get rid of him. Always used to belittle my shit job and crap wage Then last year I got a totally unexpected substantial inheritance and you could tell it rattled him He can have half the equity and what he had in his savings plus a little extra but I think he's expecting more but he can go whistle . He says it unfair that I get to keep the house and carry on as if nothing has happened but he should have thought about that before thinking our 1 year old was an appropriate drinking buddy for a Sunday morning session Prick

Good luck with your situation!

I've actually sent the divorce application today and arranged to see a solicitor and a mortgage advisor. So far so good, I have a massive headache 🤕 now though. I'm really not impressed with men at the same time would love to be with one

Oh @Sova well done you. No wonder you have a headache! It's the emotional load as much as the administration. But it's all good progress!
I know I'm at the beginning of my journey, I just want to stay calm and steady for the DCs.
@fedup078 that is positively delicious karma. What an absolute toe rag to take his baby out boozing!! I bet these arseholes are big on declarations of devotion to their kids, but not so much on the practical side of it