Who's the victim here?

[Ivebeeninlockdowntoolong]

I'll explain what CAWS is:

C = Celebrity
A = Achievement or attainments
W = Wealth
S = Status

Is it my imagination or are a lot of us impressed by CAWS? By this I mean when someone is talking about a third party I have never met, they need to quality this person, eg here are examples of real conversational gambits I've experienced:

"I've just joined X town golf course. Mr local celebrity plays golf there".
"My friend Diana came with me. She's got a PhD in behavioural sciences and went to Oxford".
" My daughter's friends with Sonia Smith. Her parents are absolutely minted and live in a house with 8 ensuite bedrooms".
"My friend, the town mayor ...."

I don't think I do this when mentioning third parties but why do people do it? Is it because they have low self-esteem and like to infer they hob-nob with CAWS people? I think it's rather sad.

Instead t would be great though to hear something like:

"My friend Diana, she's one of the kindest and most generous people I know"
Or " My friend Fiona, I can always rely on her for a wisdom insight ..."

Yes, I know someone who does this. Always saying who he knows and especially so if they have a prominent job or are well known.
Gets on my nerves.
I don't care if you are friends with Mr Million dollars who owns half the town.
In terms of achievement, its totally fine if my friends tell me about their dc achievements, because I do want to know that and am interested if dc totally nailed their degree, or got a great promotion. But you're right, it would be weird if they announced it when introducing them for the first time to someone.

I don’t care how rich people are, or how many degrees they’ve got, being nice and kind is what impresses me.

Its shallow, and lots of people are shallow. But the truth is that many people who achieve celebrity, status or great wealth are often really unpleasant and have shafted others routinely on their way up the greasy pole. Because that's how capitalism works.

It’s probably similar reasoning behind the bragging posts that they stick up on social media.

I don't understand what the thread title has to do with anything.

My FIL is like this, so much so that it's become a private joke between DH and I. FIL only associates with people who are "very wealthy" or "incredibly rich" or "reek of money".

He came to ours for a few days on the trot to help me do some decorating and regaled me nonstop about his impressive friends. It got to the point whenever he mentioned a friend he'd been in touch with I chipped in with "I imagine he's very wealthy", and FIL would respond enthusiastically "Oh yes he is! Blah blah"

He must be so disappointed in DH and I. We're not wealthy at all.

@JensonsAcolyte

I don't understand what the thread title has to do with anything.

This - I'm lost

Are you a bit bored OP?

@JensonsAcolyte

I don't understand what the thread title has to do with anything.

I have had to change the title as until now, I was not getting any responses! Sorry

I was trying to ask (and clearly failed) if you think yourself or anyone you know is like this?

Personally I hope I'm not a victim of the CAWS but I'm trying to be vigilant!

I do wonder, if some of my friends keep mentioning 3rd parties in relation to CAWS, they must think I'm quite unremarkable

Are you a Daily Mail hack looking for a story ?

@DinosaurDiana

Are you a Daily Mail hack looking for a story ?

Gosh, I'm flattered you've asked me that question!

But no, I'm a genuine MNetter.

I don't know anyone afflicted by this CAWS thingy.

God this is my uncle, it's never Sarah the nurse but always Sarah the top theatre nurse who is in demand by every private surgeon in the county or John, you know John who works for the most prestigious accounting firm in the whole universe and is headhunted and given huge signing fees every two years. 🙄

@bloodywhitecat

I don't know anyone afflicted by this CAWS thingy.

You've had a lucky escape.

It is quite amusing, though, once you experience it in action.

I have a relative who does something similar.

I'm described as 'My relative Whopping, she lives in VillageName, ...'

Stories are usually things like 'I went there with Sonia, her husband is a solicitor', ...'
or 'Mary and Geoff next door, she used to be a headteacher, they go on holiday a lot, but they don't have any children you see...'

I don't understand why they do it. I don't think it's the CAWS thing, and it pisses me off, because if the most impressive bit about me is that I live in a shitty rented maisonette in the rough end of a reasonably nice village then it says more about them than about me.

I have no idea of who Sonia or her husband are, and don't care.

I get the impression that relative thinks that Mary and Geoff are extravagant or have a lots of disposable income because they are child-free, or something.

I really wish relative could either not mention them or me, or not tack on the unnecessary description.

**names changed to protect the innocent

Yes it's something about the added, pointless , information someone gives you about a third party, you have never and are likely to never meet.

Why they think I would be impressed to hear that the Smiths are absolutely loaded I don't know.

Oh one of my friends from school had a sister like this. She was such a snob. She'd say, "I'm going to Sarah's party on Saturday. Her father's a doctor, you know."