Pictures on husbands phone

[WalesStar]

Hello. Can’t be bothered to name change.
The other day toddler DS was playing with DHs work phone. He took a few pic so I thought I’d have a look to see what he’d taken. Phone was locked but I know the pass code.
When I looked at the photos there were several pictures of naked women he’d downloaded off the internet.
I’m gutted as our relationship has been struggling recently and he has refused to talk about it. Our sex life is nonexistent and obviously now I know why. I feel like asking him to leave but am I just making a mountain out of a molehill? Is this a big deal? I’m so upset with the constant rejection and then him looking at these pictures! ☹️

Wank bank, sadly. They tend to save pics they like to wank over later.

Agree he was looking at them to wank . Your totally entitled to feel whatever you feel about this . You just need to know Is that a dealbreaker to you or not

Hi I have been through this with an ex . He's down loaded them to wank off . I'm sorry op . I know how worthless it makes you feel 😢. I left my ex because of it .

@gord2018
Agree, I realise that for some women this doesn’t bother them for me personally it just kills any sexual desire or respect for the guy . I hear so many people nowadays justifying this and saying ‘all men do this ‘ if that’s the case the. I have zero hesitation in saying Id be happier single
However OP again , it’s entirely personal how you feel

[quote Washingtofold]@gord2018
Agree, I realise that for some women this doesn’t bother them for me personally it just kills any sexual desire or respect for the guy . I hear so many people nowadays justifying this and saying ‘all men do this ‘ if that’s the case the. I have zero hesitation in saying Id be happier single
However OP again , it’s entirely personal how you feel[/quote]
Spot on! It's just want men do ! That literally boils my blood ! They only do it because we allow them too . Turns me sick it really does .

I understand that we all have our own valid thoughts on this but the fact that people split up over it blows my mind. I'd have issues over photos of other RL women/ex GFs but stuff off the internet?? I think it's a perfectly natural and healthy sexual instinct in the same way that I also think about people and scenarios that are not DH. It's very interesting to read other responses and see how we all see this so differently.

@Lamentations

I understand that we all have our own valid thoughts on this but the fact that people split up over it blows my mind. I'd have issues over photos of other RL women/ex GFs but stuff off the internet?? I think it's a perfectly natural and healthy sexual instinct in the same way that I also think about people and scenarios that are not DH. It's very interesting to read other responses and see how we all see this so differently.

For many of us the women online ARE real women , they live They breath How is porn a natural and heathy instinct . What is heathy about an industry that abuses women. Had a shitload of non consentual content and so many other issues . Women who’s images are uploaded without their knowledge and worse How is this healthy or natural Unless it’s healthy and natural for men to like seeing women abused and demeaned I

Was your child able to view those photos ? As the phone must have been unlocked to use the camera?

@WalesStar

Still trying to establish why he was looking at the pictures. He doesn’t seem able to say.

Or he won’t say.

Washingtofold yes I understand there are huge problems attached to porn as an industry but I mean I'm not disturbed by the basic concept of a man enjoying looking at a naked photo of a woman that isn't me. A couple of decades ago it would have been a copy of Razzle. It's as old as the hills.

If it bothers you, then it is not all right. I would confront him. And if he try to say it is a big deal then download some pictures of naked guys onto your phone and see how he likes it.

I do think a lot of guys wank. The difference is that not all of them are open about it.

@Lamentations

Washingtofold yes I understand there are huge problems attached to porn as an industry but I mean I'm not disturbed by the basic concept of a man enjoying looking at a naked photo of a woman that isn't me. A couple of decades ago it would have been a copy of Razzle. It's as old as the hills.

Yes I understand but Razzle is not as old as the hills . Basically the types of ‘looking at women ‘ other than their partner that men can do now is so extreme , available 24/7 at the click of the fingertips and many men seem not giving one damn about the problems with the porn industry or the fact that it goes well beyond simply looking at someone who’s not their partner . It’s a completely different type of beast . Many women see porn as really being about a whole lot more than just looking at someone else , it says something about respect and power Cave paintings, art or admiring someone walking down the street have been around forever but porn ? As for the men just looking side ? I get why many women are bothered . We live in a culture that still predominately values qbd judged women on youth and appearance . Porn reinforces this . Men simply wouldn’t care of their partners look at pirn because a) men are not represented in porn in the same way as women are and b) men are valued for things like intelligence , life experience and more than appearance . ( basically as human being) I think today women are expecting a little higher standard of men and not setting the bar so low . Sure a man can admire a woman’s beauty , we all notice attractive people , but that’s a far cry from assessing women’s t and a and deciding who is good enough to have a wank over . Some women are of the belief that all men just do this, some women believe not al men so and others ( including myself don’t care whether all do or not but would happily be single rather than be with a man who assesses every woman he meets on whether on not she’s fuckable

Stunned that early on the “men wank, it has nothing to do with your sex life” comments started so early. It bloody well does if he’s choosing to masturbate to images of random naked women rather than have sex with his wife!

@Deathgrip

Stunned that early on the “men wank, it has nothing to do with your sex life” comments started so early. It bloody well does if he’s choosing to masturbate to images of random naked women rather than have sex with his wife!

Agree and it’s also a problem if the porn effects how he treats women . Porn users are usually crappy lovers and horrible to go anywhere with because they are looking at women through their porn lens . How revolting to think a guy is jerking off to some 18yr old then his teenage daughter brings her friends home or he goes to his job and teaches them Of course it impacts how he sees women . And yes of course a guy go doesn’t watch porn could think crap too but he hasn’t just been sent thousands of messages that get this is how 18yr olds , or women in genera , behave , this is perfectly normal for 45 tr old men to have sexual with them , they want you , training himself to actually get off over other these women in the bathroom . Probably whilst his wife is preparing dinner or playing with the kids Yuk yuk it’s like having some creeper in your home

Personally I don't think it's a big deal. And it's a leap to think that your sex life is poor because he's wanking. I think it's much more likely that he's wanking because your sex life is poor.

He is wanking over them. And you really need to look at the whole picture. Why does he need to down load images of naked women when he can have a real life one in the house.

You have issues as a couple and you need to have an honest look at them