Part 1: I was dating someone for a few months when lockdown 1 hit. We split up just before Christmas but continued seeing each other as friends. We didn't fall out, but i think there are some incompatibilities that might get in the way long term maybe.
I think staying friends was a combination of unfinished business/boredom/need for company and a genuine desire on both sides to not lose contact. We were each others bubble.
Anyway, it was all great and in Jan we became 'more than friends' but nothing was defined. It just 'happened'.
It certainly looks very much like the relationship we had before - good and bad. We spend every weekend together, sex happens but not always and isn't expected. We go out for the day etc but there isn't much contact in between which is an issue for me. He prefers a meaningful phone conversation midweek but there is no text contact etc. I didn't and still don't feel like part of his life. He tells meneveeythingnhe's been up to etc when we speak/see each other but doesn't share in between. He regards that as a bit 'teenage'.
At the weekend, I tried to initiate a conversation to clarify what we are doing and he basically laughed, said he didn't know and changed the subject.
Right now, I'm thinking that what we have is nice (possibly in the absence of anything more meaningful) but it's not what I want long term and I found it a bit unfulfilling before. I'm not sure he sees us as long term and think that, if he wanted a relationship, he'd have said so. The fact he changed the subject means it isn't something he wants to talk about either way.
We haven't discussed 'exclusivity'. Although we were obviously exclusive when we were seeing each other, I'm not sure if it's a feature now.
So that's that.
Part 2: 3 or 4 years ago, I had a 'frisson' with someone I got to know reasonably well. It didn't become anything for a number of reasons. I bumped into him while out recently and we've been in touch since. Not constantly but most days. Other than confirming we still find each other attractive, nothing along those lines has been said. We've arranged to go out for a drink later this week. I have to say, it's quite nice getting the occasional 'good night' message or an early morning random message. Its all very 'sweet'.
The circumstances that meant nothing happened before are still there but less relevant now (both single, it's nothing like that but don't want to say too much).
If the first guy and I were in a relationship, going out for a drink with second guy would be inappropriate. Whilst it's not a 'date' as such, neither is it a couple for old mates hanging out because there is an attraction.
Is it wrong? What would you do?
Do I owe first guy loyalty? Do I need to tell second guy about first guy given its only a drink?