DH and I split up this weekend.
I have suspected him of having an affair for months, of course he denied it but he got caught last week.
Since last November, when I suspected he has been telling me I’m mad, you know the usual story that you read on here on a regular basis. He has seen me not sleeping properly, not eating or drinking, I’ve lost 33lbs since the beginning of February. I have been a nervous wreck. He has been telling me there is no one else for him, he doesn’t want anyone else, he only wants me, tells me I’m his best friend, how much he loves me, but I just had this gut feeling, and my gut feeling was right and he got caught.
I can’t believe what he saw me going through and he kept denying everything. We split up in February and there was a couple of times he went to stay with his mum for a night because I was being “unreasonable and nagging and being paranoid. Why didn’t he just leave when we split up, why come back? He was always the one who asked to come back, it was never me. He would always say “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be here”.
He swore on my life, the kids lives there was no one else. He told him mum he wasn’t having an affair, he told our adult son he wasn’t having an affair!
Now, well he has done a massive U turn, told me he hasn’t felt the same about me for a very long time, I drive him up the wall, I drag him down. He only slept with the OW once, it didn’t happen before that, i never listen to him. He has completely turned everything round. I certainly didn’t know anything about how he was feeling.
The OW is his best friend, she is his outlet, she understands him better than me!
I mean who is this man I was married to? I even found out he had previously been on Tinder, he said it was just to find out what it was like and hadn’t met anyone from there before......pull the other one mate.
He has been so cold since Sunday night, but it’s funny how he has only started to be like this since he sent me a message asking if there is anyway round this that we can work it out and I told him absolutely not. He hasn’t got a fucking clue what he wants.
I could never take him back, he actually disgusts me, I can’t even look at him when I think of the lies he has told, and he has told them to everyone. I’ve told my friends and his family what he’s done (i don’t have any family of my own, so his family are my family as we have been married for 31 years), everybody is absolutely disgusted with him, and no one believes for one minute he wasn’t sleeping with her before last week. His mum was so shocked, told me it’s mental cruelty what he has done.
He kept telling me OW was telling him to work things out with me, yeah right mate she was saying that then jumped into bed with you.
I am so angry. He was telling me how it was going to be great the kids are getting to the stage where we will be able to go away more just the 2 of us as the kids are older, have more freedom. Well that isn’t going to be able to happen with the OW as she has a 5 year old. He has jumped from the fire into the frying pan. She is 15 years younger than him, actually she is his boss. Neither of them have thought this through and that’s 2 marriages destroyed because of this.
I do think there is depression there, but he has completely fucked his life up. He even told me “she has taken the place where you should have been”, my reply “you put her there, if you were unhappy I never knew anything about it”, to which he replied “No you put her there, this is your fault”. Fucking cheek!
What an absolute dick!! Sorry just had to vent.