Feels like I'm at a turning point

[fourtysomething]

I've been with my man for 5 years and as I have teenage kids at home the fact that its a very low maintenance relationship has been perfect.
But the kids will be leaving home in the next couple of years and I'm trying to decide whether this is enough for me. I enjoy his company but he doesn't act like a boyfriend - there's no passion, sex is functional and he never tells me he loves me or gives me compliments.
I know that dating in my late 40s is fraught with problems but I'm feeling more and more frustrated at the lack of relationship in our relationship.
I will talk to him about it soon to give him a chance to change things but have to decide whether I'd rather settle for this or risk everything and possibly be single forever?

Dont be single forever, settle with him and be miserable forever.

If you dont like relations - break up. Functional sex - whats that?)) It shouldnt be functional, it should be pleasant, passionate and whatever other kind you prefer.
Man doesnt love you, doesnt behave like bf and so on. Why would even consider him as a longterm?
Being in 40s is ok, women do find man in 50s and 60s.

The thing is that you already have such relations with him, so talking to him might not work. If he doesnt feel passionate about you, he wont start to behave like he is in love. And maybe sex is bad, just because he is a bad lover. So he is not really a catch

Would it really be so bad to be single?
Even if it were forever, think of all the cool things you could accomplish and adventures you could go on if you didnt have to run around after kids and a fella. I'm thinking beach, tequila and a spanish waiter or two personally :D

You're both right, I can't picture a future with him and picturing myself single and happy seems to be much better... thanks

Why would you even consider settling for such a shit relationship, devoid of any real emotion? Fuck no. You're old enough to know better than to waste your life on that.

@Aquamarine1029

Why would you even consider settling for such a shit relationship, devoid of any real emotion? Fuck no. You're old enough to know better than to waste your life on that.

You made me smile there. You are totally right, I guess I just needed someone else to say it to me...

Just wanted to update - I finished the relationship 7 weeks ago and couldn't be happier!
I have all the freedom I need to go out and make new friends (which I have done) and make last minute plans just for myself and enjoy spending time on my own without feeling guilty.
Looking back I think I knew it was over after first lockdown when he became my bubble but showed very little excitement and there was no emotional reunion after being apart for 5 months... but I just kept hoping it would develop into what I needed...
Now I'm very happily single, and not looking for anyone as my life is full enough! I pondered internet dating then realised I don't know how I'd fit a proper relationship in at the moment so won't bother.

Ah well done OP! you give me hope!!!

I just finished my 5 year relationship. I’m 48 and my kids (16 and 18) becoming more independent, living their own lives etc.

My ex was still facilitating his 20 year old to behave like a 7 year old and manipulate people into meeting her every single need. Cant so much as set foot on a train (social anxiety). Except when she wants to get her hair done (no social anxiety). No qualifications. Cant leave the house to look for a job or something constructive (except if there’s something exciting to do, like the cinema). Fuck all that for a laugh..

DP was a lovely partner. Except all the above makes him a shit one.

Something about this stage in life really makes you evaluate what you want.

Congrats!!

I’ve joined a book club, joined a meet up, made a friend and going out with her on Fri.

I’m hoping to feel as good as you in a couple of months. You give me hope!

Yes LatentPhase ! Join clubs, go out, meet people, have all the fun that you couldn't when you were with him

Wishing you all the best for a happy future!