Broken up with my boyfriend and now I feel relieved

[Srirachachacha]

Is it going to hit me soon?

It's been coming for months - he's been miserable and I haven't been very sympathetic because I've been so frustrated by his lack of motivation. I've got a lot going on with health so have been kicking decisions about our (lack of) future down the road.

On one hand I've wasted 18 months of my life with someone I have no future with, on the other hand there's no biological clock ticking for me and we had fun.

I just remember feeling really really miserable for months after my last ex, and I'm scared it will hit me at some point.

I'm finally content (at the grand old age of early 30s) that I need someone to add to my already pretty much good life. And I've also realised that I need an equal to support each other, not to be solely supported or the supported one.

Anyway, just a bit of a rant I guess. I posted on here before we started dating properly with my doubts- I should have listened to myself more carefully.

If you're feeling relieved it had no future so its a good thing

OP,

Sounds like happy relief to me.

I feel sad but I'm not sad for him, I'm sad for what I wanted him to be I think.

I think it feels like a personal rejection when someone doesn't turn out to be who you wanted them to be. He promised to get a job/start studying/volunteering the full time we were together but it never materialised.

I broke up with someone a couple of weeks ago. Although at times I thought there could of been a future, in the end, I knew we were too different. I'm relieved at not having to wonder about things and have nagging doubts about him, but it doesn't stop you missing them.
I wouldn't say you've wasted 18 months, the options for starting up anything have been limited for the past year or so, and it's probably been helpful to have someone in your life during lockdown, otherwise it could of been a lonely time. Now things are opening up, however, it's a good time to move on, no more time required on it. I'm sad at times, but other objectives in life are beginning to take over my headspace, and I think of him less often. We will get there.

Thank you for responding opentooffers - you've basically summed up how I'm feeling. I've lost nothing but had someone to go places and watch TV with during lockdown when all my friends have husbands and families.

I'm not going to be rushing into dating again, I'm to weary. I've got some weight I'm doing well at shifting so I'm going to focus on that and health instead of other people's problems for a while.