Think I want to explore relationships with women but don't know where to start...

[LittleBookOfKalms]

I'm early forties with two very young DC. 'D' H left us 18 months ago. I didn't want him to leave, but he had mental health problems and "Couldn't cope" He now has no contact with DC.

I've always found women attractive and have had some experiences with them before my marriage. I do definitely fancy men, but lean towards very feminine men. Manly types leave me cold.

I'm lonely and feel ready to date again but just don't feel like I will ever be able to trust a man again. I've been on a few dates with guys but nothing has clicked. I find mens propensity for talking about themselves utterly exhausting! I really think I would like to start exploring my attraction to women more, but don't know where to start! There is a woman just started at my work who is bi. I definitely fancy her and suspect the feeling is mutual. However she's 11 years younger than me, which makes me hesitant to explore further.

Can anyone here relate/advise please? Feeling very out of my comfort zone right now!

Anyone?

11 years can be fine, depending on the ages involved. Just go very slowly, you are adjusting to a new life a single parent and new romances always bring challenges. Good luck OP 🙂.

@Phoenixrising2020 I'm just reluctant to get into another age gap relationship. My ex has quite a lot younger than me and it ended in a total shit show. Plus this woman is planning to move back to her native country at the end of the year

Thank you for your reply

Sounds like an ideal way to test the waters if you both go in with your eyes open knowing it's short and fun?

It might be best just to start with casual
dating. Maybe not a work colleague? I wouldn’t mix work with dating. Or if you know she leaving it might be perfect for casual dating. Lesbians might be wary of someone “experimenting” because they don’t want to get burned, and that’s ok. Date casually and for adult companionship until you can see clearly what you want for the future.

Hi Kalms, I would be wary of emotional attachments, especially if she's going to leave the country. I just think that you have been through enough, you and your children need you to be coping well without any further pain.

@Applejuju @Phoenixrising2020 I am scared of emotional attachments too. I know how soft hearted I am. I'm also pretty lonely despite pretending to everyone I'm not.

She asked me if I wanted to go for food sometime at work today. During our lunch hour we were talking about guys and she made it very clear she's much more into women than men these days. I feel there's an attraction there but obviously I could be wrong. I'm pretty confused right now.

Perhaps having young DC means any sort of dating is off the cards? There's potential for heartbreak no matter how casual you try to be about things.

You know what OP?
Go for dinner with her. Life’s too short x

I met my wife when I had two young kids :) I expected to date casually until they were grown and she’s the best thing that could have happened to our family

I want to explore relationships with women but don't know where to start

I wouldn't worry too much about that. 50% of the world's population are men and they haven't much of a clue either but seem to do OK mostly.

@Alternista That's generally my approach to life but I'm feeling so fragile these days. Plus what if she's just being friendly? It's hard to tell when it's a girl and not a guy! Much more subtle

@Applejuju That's so lovely🙂 Very happy for you. Can I ask how you met her?

@MyOctopusFeature Omg that made me laugh. Never a truer word spoken

We met on a dating app.

My ex husband and I separated while I was pregnant with my youngest, eventually I dated women casually, had one shorter relationship, and met her about three years later. I remember feeling extremely uncertain at first. I knew I was attracted to women since puberty, but never acted on it. I actually tried to date men after my divorce as well at first, but found I had no attraction to men. I think my casual and short relationships where extremely helpful in figuring out what I wanted, and being confident.

@Applejuju Your story sounds very similar to mine. I've tried dating a few men since my husband left, but I'm just not feeling it at all. They've been nice guys but I now just feel irritated with men Then this woman came to work and its all sort if fallen into place for me a bit.

Did you also find your shorter relationships on dating apps? I would consider joining some games dating ones. Is it less exhausting than trying to date men on them?

Gay dating rather. Definitely don't want to be dating gamers I ended up a PlayStation widow in my marriage!