Can't get out of this rut

[Ivhadnosleep]

I just don't know what to do, I feel so stuck and fed up with my living situation.

I've been with my husband for 12 years and living together for almost 10. We have been renting the whole time, we live in a 2 bedroom house with 2 children and a newborn, its becoming very cramped, and the house is falling apart.

My husband earns a great wage, iv always worked part time on min wage jobs. We have the income for a mortgage but my husband is a gambling addict, I knew this early on but didn't know enough about how this would impact my whole life.

We have spent £60,000 on rent since living together , it makes me feel ill thinking about all that money gone towards nothing. We are completely stuck, i have control of his money to pay bills ect so things are paid and on the surface there is no debt. Iv savings for a deposit, but he has an account full of gambling, bank charges, secret unpaid loans and of course very bad credit.

Im approaching 40 and i'm so embarrassed i'm in this situation no matter how hard i work, how much I save, il never get out if this rut. I earn too low and income to get a mortgage on my own.

I just want a secure home for.out children, I want a house i can spend money on knowing its our house.

I just cant see a way out. Even if i or we both miraculously get a mortgage, i'm so worried how vunerable I could be with my husband gambling and potentially using the money put towards the mortgage to cover his debts.

I'm feeling so sad I don't think I will ever own my own home like everyone else I know

I am so sorry OP it sounds a totally miserable existance, However until you address the gambling addiction nothing will ever change, Your husband really needs to want to get help for you and his children more than he wants to gamble and if he is doing nothing to address his issue then his need to satisfy his addiction means more to him than your immediate family needs,How you address this I don;t know, You can't enforce change its down to him sadly,Of course you can support him but it has to be his desire to go seek proffessional help, Does he know and understand how his actions are affecting you and your children? Does he care? thats not being nasty but you have to be honest both with him and with yourself, It is something you can work on together to get a happier result but it will be hard,You need full transparency of the amount of debt and I would if he won't tell you you need to seperate your finances via the credit reference agencies,this would help protect you and its well worth doing,Also gamblers anon have people in their organizations who help families of addicts as a seperate issue so maybe give them a call? Essentially if he chooses to do nothing you will be stuck forever and then it is down to you to decide if the relationship is one you can tolerate for you and the kids forever, If he is open to tackling this then good on him I hope he is for all of you, Good luck,