Ex dragged me through court, then dropped contact

[ThisIsTheLast89]

Anyone else had this happen.

My ex dragged me through over a year of court to see our DD, countless PSO applications and residence application despite me not stopping contact.

The process finished last year and now he has started to drop contact, not seen DD since January. Just don't get it, he spent all that money and energy on court and yet he drops contact as and when he pleases.

You know this is all about control. It's hard but better that he is showing himself for who he really is to her now, instead of putting up a show.

He wanted to make you suffer. It was never about your poor DD

Almost exactly the same thing happened to me. Turns out he didn't really want a relationship with my DD, he just wanted to win. She hasn't seen him for over fifteen years.

I’ve had the same thing
He did it to prove who was in charge and to make my life so stressful I’d agree to anything
Didn’t work-but by god he tried
Haven’t seen him for over 20 years now-as soon as he realised I wasn’t playing the game he gave up

Yes my ex did this too and now tells everyone I won't let him see the children ! Control control . I now have a lovely 21 year old and 15 year old who ha had my seen for years and he's in a marriage where I hear he's after other women and just with her as she has a house . We are so better off out of it . Oh by the way I now live with my partner who the children love loads . His loss and time is a great healer . Keep looking forwards not back as it won't help you all , look for yr happiness u deserve it

Mine did this 3 times. It was all about controlling me. He didn't give a flying fuck about the children.

Utter knobhead. I'm still paying the legal bill 3 years on.

Same here. It was never about seeing DS it was about showing me he had control over me and threatening DS’ welfare to make me back off the separation of assets battle.

Interestingly, he had unrestricted access to DS, it was I who asked to formalise the contact time with a residence order, just putting in writing the existent pattern as I was tired of him threatening DS, telling DS he would take him away from me if I didn’t do as ex pleased. As soon as he got the order he stopped contact altogether...for ever.

Honestly OP, it may take years to come to terms with the idea of your son been let down by his dad, but one day you will look back and realise that him fading off your son’s life was a blessing in disguise. I have no doubt whatsoever ex would have wrecked my DS’s life if he had stayed in touch.

Unfortunately society hammers it on to us that there is nothing worst for a child than not having a parent. But believe me, no dad around is 100 times better than shit dad around, whatever people think.

@KarmaNoMore Horrified by your story and the others on this thread. Some men really are the utter pits.

Totally agree that no father is preferable to a bad one. My ex has no contact with our DC and I know it's for the best. He has nothing of value to add to their lives.

As everyone has said, just a tactic to control you and make you miserable. The good thing is that now he seems to have taken himself off out of your life. A lot of unworthy dads unfortunately hang around. Awful experience for you but try to remember he just did this to get the upper hand and you continuing to be angry and upset continues to give him power over you. Don't give him the satisfaction!

To echo everyone else he was just enjoying twisting the knife, access to his daughter was just a convenient excuse to twist said knife

I had similar, not about child access, but took me to court to undo the original financial order with no grounds. Pushed it to final hearing although he knew he was going to lose. Run up totally unnecessary legal fees just to show he was in charge. His barrister happy to waffle on so that we had three final hearings. Sad thing is he dropped our child because new wife didn't like her and hasn't seen her for last eight years. I expect he has told everyone lies about it all.

I would celebrate your freedom from the tosser. Your children will get to an age where he can't pull this stunt anymore. However, the court system does nothing to stop this continued abuse of ex spouses.

Yes in fact the time he couldn't be bothered anymore was the time as a family when we regrouped and began to heal, although my daughter has also had to have counselling. I honestly never believed we would be okay or that I would cope but one day at a time , movie and popcorn nights with the kids, pyjamas days and picnics in the lounge made it fun . Plan being together with the kids so the loss of him is less