Suddenly in touch with ex

[Mumoftwo09]

So my partner has just recently decided to search for an ex from over 20 years ago. He's added her as a friend on Facebook, messaged her and apologised for walking out on her years ago and told her he did care for her. He's constantly checking her profile on Facebook and every time I walk into the room he quickly turns it off.

He's now deleted all messages they've sent each other.

I just don't know how to feel about this. If he's always been in touch with an ex it wouldn't bother me for him to be talking to them innocently.

But surely it can't be innocent or why delete conversations? And why after all this time look her up and decide to tell her he cared about her.

An ex of mine contacted me on Facebook. She is an ex from 50 years ago. I replied and showed my wife the messages.
I can't see anything wrong with being friends again after so many years. I am also now a Facebook friend with her husband.
No need for secrecy if it is all innocent.

Deleting all messages suggests there may be some that over stepped the mark.

My stance is partners can talk to whoever they wish,
BUT if they ever discuss or type stuff they wouldn't want me to see, then they have over stepped the line.

It then can become an emotional affair they having (in their head even if not physically in person)

Emotional affair in 10 9 8 7 6....

Thank you.

Yes I would have no issues with him chatting to an ex and having a catch up kind of conversation but it's the fact that it has to be a secret that is my issue. Too delete messages just suggests there is something more to it.

Time to go have a conversation I think, even though I will only get told I'm paranoid and overreacting.

Nostalgia is making the grass look greener. Sounds like he’s been disloyal if he’s wiped everything.

He still has feelings for her which is more out of fantasy than reality, he did leave her so fast forward the years and he's looking back with rose tinted glasses, keep an eye on it for a while, although he may be a bit obsessed with what she's up to, she may not still be interested and possibly moved on herself.