What to do when the person you want to go no contact with ignores your wishes?

[Namechanger10001]

Hi,

Firstly, I am going to keep this fairly vague in terms of details, as it would be very outing, but could really do with some advice on the general subject.

If you've decided to go no contact with a close family member, for very good reasons, but they chose to ignore and keep contacting you or showing up at your house, what can you do? Obviously you can block from your phone and social media, but if they show up at your house, it's not a matter for the police is it?

This person is absolutely toxic, but no criminal record against the person wanting to go no contact. Just a really horrible, selfish person. Putting it mildly.

Any advice much appreciated?

Thank you

You don’t answer the door. If they’re making a racket it could be a police issue. Do you need/have grounds for a restraining order?

National Stalking Helpline might be useful here.

It can be a police matter if it has become a pattern of harassment.

If they turn up at your door just ignore them. They will soon go away but if they become aggressive outside your house then I would 100% call the police. Look up the grey rock method , it can be very effective at dealing with toxic people.

You tell them once, clearly and firmly that they are not to contact you or come to your home. Then when they breach that, yes, it is a matter for the police and they can be served with a harassment warning.

Yes, it can be a matter for the police. Tell them to leave you alone if you haven't already, and if they turn up, refuse to answer the door. If they make a scene, call the cops.

Or you could send them a solicitor's letter.

Going through the same thing. Went NC with my sister and haven’t spoken to her for a year, only she still send things to my children in the post for Xmas and birthdays, I refuse to give it to them and throw it away, she even turned up at my door on my sons birthday but I didn’t answer, other than keep throwing the gifts away and move I’m not really sure what the answer is 😕

Thanks for the replies so far.

To clarify, this isn't actually me but someone I'm very close to. I think they believe that it's just something they have to put up with and still better than having them in their life full time.

Like you @Happycat1212, every present and card gets thrown in the bin, but even receiving them is triggering, especially when it's for their dc.

They believe that this is the only way to handle it and if they involve authorities, things will get worse, even dangerous because they are so erratic and impulsive.

Move and don't leave a forwarding address?

@category12, done that, but someone else in the family very stupidly gave them the address. Their stomach churned when the first card dropped on the doormat last Christmas and they knew it was only a matter before they'd show up.

*matter of time

Have you got a ring doorbell so you know its them, can the post be redirected,

It's horrible as if I knew they were from her I wouldn't accept them but obviously the last year I've been ordering everything online so it's impossible to know before it's delivered as she addresses them to me but they are gifts for the children. Police isn't an option for me as she would retaliate.

This sounds potentially like non-molestation order territory. It isn’t something she has to put up with. Ignoring someone’s boundaries like this is harassment and, yes, it’s a crime. The NCDV would be able to advise her on non-molestation orders.

If this is an ex partner it sounds really concerning, and even more of a police matter than I realised when I posted initially

Says it's a family member ...not ex

@Happycat1212, it's such an impossible situation to be in isn't it? I'm sorry you're going through that.

@Dery, thank you. I will look into this.