Should I stay or should i go?

[lindsey2019]

Hiya,
I haven't posted anything like this on here before so please bare with me!
Been with my partner 6 years, got a 3 yr old daughter and he has a 12 yr old from his previous relationship. We've had our ups and downs but lately I just feel done. We have had sex 3 times since our daughter was born, I'm just not interested. I love the idea of us being a family but the reality is that im always wondering if I'd be happier elsewhere. I just think the things that set us apart are so big and we are just so different with very little in common. I'm so much happier when hes not around and I feel like I'm a better parent too. I've never really bonded with his kid, I've always just found him extremely spoilt and difficult and havent really got much of a relationship with him (anyone who's heard of nacho step parenting will get it) I basically treat him like hes my friends kid when hes here and I'm nice and polite and kinda stay out of it. But if I'm honest when it comes to things like holidays etc I'd rather he wasnt there as its just easier without him around. I realise this sounds like a horrible thing to say about a child but I'm just being honest, I wish the best for him but I just dont want him to be a big part of my life. I did do the whole step mum thing initially but I've now got to a place where I realise that I'm happier just having very little to do with him.
My main reason for not leaving sooner is purely worry about our daughter and who will get custody etc. I know my partner will want 50/50 but I cant bare the thought of it. Hes so irresponsible and doesnt put a minutes thought into parenting- his son is like a walking advert for how not to parent.

I have such bad anxiety that I just always think the worst thing will happen. Deep down I know I'd be happier alone its just that fear of actually doing it and thinking I'll never meet anyone else. Day to day its easier to just fake it and smile and carry on trying but my heart isnt in it and hasnt been for years.

Can anyone help me or tell me it they've been through something similar?

Thank you

Hand holding till someone comes with some wise words. I wish I knew the answer too x

Thank you so much. X

You've got to go it alone and you know that deep down. Don't be scared of it, yes it's not easy but without him it will be liberating. I know you are worried about him going 50/50 on the custody but my bet is he won't when the reality sets in and you'll be doing most of the custody. Loads of them say that but then they realise they want to go off and meet other women and they realise their child is an inconvenience. Sorry but it's true. Make plans to go your own way you'll be happier than you think. Make secret enquiries about what you're entitled to (tax credits etc) go to citizen's advice. Bringing up a child in an unhappy home is far worse than bringing one up alone. Best wishes and handhold here too