He said she was nothing to him

[Parkerbarker]

So I just read a thread about a rebound pregnancy and I just wanted some opinions about my situation.

I met a man back in September and we hit it off immediately. He had a young baby around 6 months old but told me he slept with this woman casually 3 times before she got pregnant. He said she told him she was on contraception and he wanted her to have an abortion. Anyway she kept the baby and he told me he knew he would never have feelings for her and she would never be his girlfriend so they decided to be friends.

Anyway, recently they seem to be talking more and more. To the point where I checked his phone, I know I shouldn’t of but they had been on the phone early morning for like an hour, late night for two hours. Now their text messages were always about the baby and friendly enough. She sent a video she made for the baby’s first birthday, he told me they weren’t together at all during the pregnancy. In the video they have pictures together when she was pregnant, they have pictures together when we got together. And he reposted this video on his social media which I find strange.

Anyway so I know he has lied about them being together when she was pregnant. I find it weird they’ve been on the phone for so long because he said how much they don’t get along, and how she was nothing to him, he felt nothing to her. But we still haven’t told her about our relationship, even though we’re planning on moving in together. He said he thinks she will stop him from seeing the baby or make him choose between the both of us, but he will tell her when the time is right. I can’t believe I even fell for that. I’m so so in love with this man I don’t know what to do. He’s told me he’s never felt this way before and I believe him, I’ve never looked forward to the future so much in my life

Sorry op sounds like he’s feeding you a load of bollocks. If it makes you feel better you’re not in love with him but just a version he’s fed you. Break free before it gets messy. You will be ok

He enjoys having two (or more) women on the go, and will tell each of you what you want to hear to keep it that way.

He is lying to you and you are looking for reasons to believe his lies. Ask yourself why that is.

Sounds incredibly messy, at best.

Don't move in with him. There is no need for you to do this. And I suspect if you do, you'll soon find out that he is keeping even more from you. And that he is a hardworking bastard.

You would be wise to break up. But if you arent ready, you'd be wise to message this lady and find out her side of things because I suspect he is lying to you both.

And do not move in with him either way.

*headworking not hardworking

Walk away.
Whatever the unfinished business with them is it will cause problems while it's thrashed out.
He isn't single even if that's what he says.

You

• give your head a shake/wake up and smell the coffee/see sense

And walk away from this lying sh1tbag of a man

You're the other woman, effectively.

He has fed both of you a pack of lies.

The version you fell in love with does not exist, the real him is a waste of oxygen. A liar and a cheat.

This has been posted before .
Leave him he’s using you

He said he thinks she will stop him from seeing the baby or make him choose between the both of us

Well, he's always going to choose his baby, if given this ultimatum. And I sense that the time will never "be right" to tell her anything.

What story does her social media tell? I'd be having a look at that.

You need to dig deep and find your self respect OP.

You know he is lying to you and has done so from day one.
You know he is lying to this woman, the mother of his child.
You know that he left this woman holding his baby, while he went out and started seeing you.
You know he is concealing your relationship.

This is not what love is like. You deserve better than this.

At the very, very best his situation is too complicated for you and won't get any less so as his child grows up.

Walk away now, before you get in too deep!

he told me they weren’t together at all during the pregnancy. In the video they have pictures together when she was pregnant, they have pictures together when we got together.
So they are on this pictures are kissing or just standing next to each other? I'm not saying its ok, just to clarify.

But we still haven’t told her about our relationship, even though we’re planning on moving in together.

Why should she know about his relationships? I think its not necessary to tell her until you might be involved with a baby.

He said he thinks she will stop him from seeing the baby or make him choose between the both of us, but he will tell her when the time is right.

Thats super strange, apart of all other things, thats super weird to say from him. As they are not together, he should be able to see the baby regardless his relationship status.

How are your relations with him overall?

OP on the 15th April you posted about you dating other men and you weren't sure whether this other man you were seeing was interested in you? I am confused about this post now. Are you now in a relationship with this man since April 15th and since a few days ago are now talking about moving in? Are you still dating other men? A few days ago you appeared not to be with anyone and just chatting to and dating men?

You've been together 7 months and the baby is around 6 months?
He's lying about his involvement with her. Why would she stop him seeing the baby if they aren't an item?
I'd ditch his lying arse and certainly not even consider moving in together. Out of interest, would he move in with you or you with him?

So I’ve been dating this guy. We get on really well but he said he doesn’t want a relationship. I took that to mean with me. I continued to date him and other men. I would say me and this guy have gotten a lot closer, but he knows I still talk to men.

You wrote this a week ago OP.

I mean...

This is either bollocks or a total shitshow.

Best case scenario you're planning to move in with a guy who didn't want a relationship a week ago and who shagged you while still seeing his pregnant ex.

You also say on the other thread that he is 'scary' and makes possessive comments.

The real question you need to be asking yourself is why on earth you're in two minds about this rather than just ending it.