I've posted on here many times over the years about my relationship. We have been together for 20 years and have 2 dcs aged 17 and 14.
I have been in contact with womens aid and talk with someone from there every week. She has confirmed that I am a victim of domestic abuse. My partner owns the house so I would have to leave, the dcs would come with me. I only work part time and recently had to drop a shift as my 14 to ds is experiencing high anxiety, unable to attend school and is on the asd pathway so needs a lot of input from me. I have looked at private lets but they are so expensive and I also have bad credit so most likely wouldn't be accepted. I have contacted the council but they have told me unless I go down the homeless route I would be waiting for a considerable time for a house/flat. I feel trapped and very unhappy.
I also feel very confused because my partner can be very kind at times, I have 3 adult dcs who he has been amazing with when they have gone through tough times, always ready to help them out. But, he has a quick temper and when angry a nasty mouth.
There has been so many incidents over the years that I find hugely unacceptable. He has kicked/punched holes in walls, thrown things, broken things, called me names, tells me almost monthly to fuck off (he knows I hate this and have asked him many times not to say that as I find it very disrespectful) he also blames me if he can't find something, saying that I have hidden it.
I'm far from perfect but I would never intentionally hurt anyone with my words or actions. I'm 55 and don't know where to turn. I know no one can really offer advice but it has helped me to write it down.