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Original poster

Life after a 30 year marriage.

26 replies

Forevermoorish · 21/04/2021 17:39

Hi everyone, separated from Husband this year, can someone please tell me there is life for someone aged 50. I’ve never been with anyone else except my ex.

I’m not looking for any serious relationships but I would like to think I would date again at some point in the future, and just have fun.

OP posts:
Dery · 21/04/2021 17:46

My mum met the love of her life at 55 after 34 years of marriage and 3 years of divorce!

minniemomo · 21/04/2021 17:50

I met an amazing man just a little younger than you after 27 years with exh. It is possible!

Crankley · 21/04/2021 17:55

I know someone who divorced her serial cheating husband when she was 60. She bumped into a man she worked with forty years previously and they are now happy and living together.

Single life is also an option which can be enjoyable.

Dacquoise · 21/04/2021 18:01

I met the love of my life in my early fifties. Both in long term marriages. He is so so different from my exhusband, we laugh every day, do lots together and now live together. It is possible. Planning lots of fun things to do in retirement. There is life after divorce so hang in there.

ThisTooShallBeFantastic · 21/04/2021 18:48

'Life' is about way more than being with a man isn't it?

I divorced after 30 years at 55 and honestly I've had a blast ever since, reconnecting with friends, enjoying a much better relationship with my DC, stabilising my finances, spending quality time with my very aged DF, going to festivals, starting new hobbies, ditching things I hate doing (eg cooking), finding new work, travelling, getting fit etc etc etc.

I also have a lovely DP now, younger than me, he is a sweetheart - but I would honestly say 10-15% max of my happiness is down to him, the rest is all me!

(My dog, on the other hand, probably accounts for about 40%...)

Enjoy the freedom OP!

Alcemeg · 21/04/2021 18:56

I was in my 50s when I met my second husband. We're very happy.

Of course you can have fun and enjoy life! You haven't even started yet. I lived life more fully in my 40s and 50s than I ever did in my 20s and 30s. It's quite the journey, and well worth the wait.

WouldBeGood · 21/04/2021 19:03

I met my now DP when I was 48 and he was 56. I never in a million years thought it would happen after a horrible time when my XH left after 20 years.

There is hope @Forevermoorish! My time with him is actually fun now

AndromedaGal · 21/04/2021 19:32

My grandad was bereaved of his wife at the tender age of 80. He’s now met a new lady, & they are very happy together. He’s 86

Isolatedizzy · 21/04/2021 19:38

Me & 2 of my friends are all with men we met in our late forties! 1 married, one engaged 1 cohabiting! All really happy and with decent blokes - probably for the first time in our lives!

HappyBirthdayMrPresident · 21/04/2021 21:00

My friend was married then divorced and met her boyfriend at 52 and she had given up all hope

lljkk · 21/04/2021 21:04

My great-grandmother became a widow in her late 40s, soon married the man across the street who everyone describes as "the love of her life"

After she was widowed a 2nd time, 20 yrs later, she had diverse gentleman friends for next 15 years.

Original poster
Forevermoorish · 21/04/2021 21:36

Thanks everyone. I’m not looking for anything just now, infact I might never look for anyone. I’m just thinkingmaybe one day I might want to have a special someone in my life.

OP posts:
PornStarOvaltini · 21/04/2021 23:05

Give yourself time op. You need to be happy single before getting in to a new relationship. You need to be a whole person, not half. Enjoy single life for a bit and all the pleasures not worrying about someone else brings. Then you'll have something to offer and not rush into something wrong just because it's all that's on offer.

All the PPs show it's not too late.

MrsMaizel · 22/04/2021 01:19

Everyone is different and for every person who loves being single there are others who know that they like men and want to be in a relationship. All this "find yourself first" stuff is a load of bollocks I think . You already have " something to offer "- you don't need to go and find it .! After my divorce I had an amazing affair for a year and am now remarried to a wonderful man .

WouldBeGood · 22/04/2021 01:44

I must say that I went into dating purely as a bit of fun straight after my ex left for good. Ended up in a relationship by chance. It’s funny the way life works out!

Sakurami · 22/04/2021 02:04

It took me a year to even want to think about dating but I loved the fun and freedom I had. Then I dated for a few years and am now with a man that not just fits but surpasses my criteria (I was very fussy with who I dated). I only ever want to be in a relationship if it is wonderful as I'm happier alone than with the wrong man. I'm early 50s.

ceilingsand · 22/04/2021 09:52

I met a lady on a long train journey who wished very much that she had met her lovely husband earlier, because of the angry and difficult man she'd spent 35 years with. She said he was the life of her life.

I know another who is divorced and says she "doesn't want an old man to look after " 😄😄

WouldBeGood · 22/04/2021 09:56

@ceilingsand I found the best of both worlds as I have my lovely DP but don’t live with him 😂

Morana23 · 22/04/2021 10:04

My mum met her soulmate just before she turned 50 after an unhappy 20 year marriage. He had been cheated on by ex wife then alone for many years. Neither of them expected to meet someone serious, my mum had been enjoying single life going out with friends and casually dating here and there. They are now married and have a beautiful home and life together. They are very happy.

User08362683738 · 22/04/2021 10:15

My Mum was deserted by my stepdad aged 49. By 50 she had met a lovely man and they were very happy together for nearly 3 decades until her death.

DH's uncle married again at 85!

newtb · 22/04/2021 10:26

I left xh the month after our 40th anniversary. 4 years ago. Done a bit of old. 'met' someone 3-4 months ago on old but due to govt restrictions haven't been able to meet up as he's in a different département. Exchanging lots of sms, he's a few years younger and French. Good luck - have to avoid kissing a few frogs on the way.

ThisTooShallBeFantastic · 22/04/2021 10:54

@MrsMaizel I wasn't suggesting we need to 'find ourselves' in order to 'have something to offer' - you may think of yourself as a product that needs enhancing in order to be offered to customers (men), I certainly don't! I was just reporting my experience to the OP, which is that there has been more variety in all aspects of my life since my 30 year marriage ended and I'm happier than ever at 58. I didn't date for three years though - too shell-shocked...

MrsMaizel · 22/04/2021 11:13

[quote ThisTooShallBeFantastic]@MrsMaizel I wasn't suggesting we need to 'find ourselves' in order to 'have something to offer' - you may think of yourself as a product that needs enhancing in order to be offered to customers (men), I certainly don't! I was just reporting my experience to the OP, which is that there has been more variety in all aspects of my life since my 30 year marriage ended and I'm happier than ever at 58. I didn't date for three years though - too shell-shocked...[/quote]
My reference was PornStarOvaltini 's post . I most certainly do not think of myself as a product but she appears to .

ceilingsand · 22/04/2021 14:27

@WouldBeGood very wise!