Finally asked him to leave

[Newusertothis]

I finally mustered up the courage and asked him to leave.
Now what? I feel i am bored / lonely.
I have done so many posts over the past 2 years with many name changes and each and every time the reply’s were the same (Ltb, he’s abusive, dickhead etc)
I do feel relieved he’s gone and i am hoping i am strong enough not to let him back.

I'm exactly where you are right now even down to the many posts and name changes
How long has he been gone?
Mine went beginning of this month

Well done.

How long has it been?

What have you done so far to take care of yourself about those feelings? How are you filling your time? What support do you have?

i am hoping i am strong enough not to let him back.

That's a choice and it's within your control so reframe how you think and talk about it.

"I don't want his abuse back, so I am doing xyz to keep myself strong."

"I want my life to finally move forward so I am never letting him back."

Don't talk to him. Don't engage with him. Don't debate it within yourself. Don't sabotage yourself.

Thanks
He’s been gone a week
I am busy with my dc, pets & work
I have the support from my family
The only thing i have done is have a clear out & tidy up my room. I have ordered myself some new bed stuff also

Its been going on for 3 years now since the first split

I'm in this position too OP, you have made a really good decision. I have found looking back at my previous posts to remind me of what an arse he is really helpful.
I've also booked a couple of therapy sessions to make sure I a) don't lose the plot and b) if I ever do meet a man again that I have better boundaries and an eye for red flags.

Lots of things have led you to this point. Have confidence that you made the right decision and faith that the feelings of hopelessness will soon pass. Keep yourself busy.

Well done.

Are the kids his?

Thbk you guys

Yeh they are his kids

And they haven’t even asked where he is

Well, that's quite revealing.

Shame you probably can't cut contact completely, but make sure you have really strong boundaries around communication and access to the kids, so he doesn't get opportunity to try to suck you back in.

Hes been seeing the kids in mine but i will go into another room or for a walk whilst hes here

He needs to take them out really - doorstep pick-ups.

Are you married? Is the house mortgaged?

Well done for taking the step op!

Thanks
No mortgage tbe house in rented in my name
He says he’s no where to have them

That's great news, he can't try to get you out or get back in!

The weather's good, parks etc are open - it's not hard.

@Newusertothis

Thanks No mortgage tbe house in rented in my name He says he’s no where to have them

He is an adult - he should be sorting this out, not leaning on you to do something he should be capable of. He is manipulating you in this - don't let this situation drag on OP - it's not good for you or the DC. 🌹

You don't want him having access to your home, especially if you are not there. It is up to him to sort out somewhere to take them.

Why do you have his kids at yours? Sorry but they need to go. He’s still in your life and manipulating you.

Theyre mine too @SunIsComing