Ex and new partner

[ScaredNdconfused]

Name changed. Advice needed please.

Ex and I split in September following 17 years of domestic abuse; control and emotional abuse. I finally ended it when after 6 months of no hitting he threw me against a wall once again.

Since the split, i’ve met someone new and couldn’t be happier. My 5 children are happy ages 15, 13, 11, 8, 3. They’ve been going to see ex once a week maybe twice if he can be bothered but never over nights and for 2, 3 hours maximum - his choice.

He’s now introducing a girlfriend to them- so he has told them. We don't communicate as I message his Cousin who facilitate ex having contact. However recently they’ve closed down from me on this issue. His past history is that he tends to go for vulnerable women (we split previously) and has told the children that she doesn't have her own children with her anymore after an argument with her ex where he took them and now she is only allowed to see them with others there for an hour a week. He then further mentioned the incident involved drugs and alcohol to the children!!! Not surprising as drugs was in his past.

This has rung alarm bells for me in terms of whether or not this woman should have contact with my children.

Is there anything I can do??

Speak to a solicitor.

I have but just wanted a general feel for what others would do too

Oh dear , that's not good. Will the older children be able to keep an eye on things to see if you need to intervene?

The eldest two refuse to go and see him at the moment. Would have been a good idea! Sorry for drip feeding

If you have genuine concerns, report to social services. Don't allow contact until you have, otherwise undermines what you are saying.

You could contact social services and ask for advice. An alternative is to see a solicitor and start court proceedings fir formal contact. You could do this yourself. Courts will suggest Cafcass which would look into the contact with social services.

Has your Ex been charged with assault against you? Given your history I hope you are not introducing the children too early to your new bf as they have had to go through so much and need stability.