kind of boyfriend got a girl pregnant on hol.

[tiredandsad]

a long story, but basically, i was pg when i met him so we have been very casual, his parents paid for a family hol when i was due to give birth so he was not around when i had lo a few weeks ago. we've started getting closer since i had lo but today he comes round to tell me he's got a girl pg on hol, who is apparsntly the only other person he's slept with since he's known me. the girl lives a long way away, and has a bf of 3.5 years, but apparantly after this one time she gets pg.

i'm, gutted, he's an idiot for not using protection and he knows it, i don't know whether to believe it as my ex's ex did this and was lying, but i can't see no reason for this girl to lie and when it comes down to it, i don't really have no right to be upset but i am, and after what lo's dad did to me i wouldn't wish being pg alone on anyone.

sorry for the ramble, just needed to get it off my chest

poor you. I dont know what to advise, but take care of you and little one x

What does he want to do about it?

Hi tiredandsad. I think you have every reason to feel upset. However you were only seeing this guy on a casual basis so its not like he had any exclusive obligation to you but this said, he obviously must care about you as he has been open and honest with you about this situation.

Obviously when this girl has the baby the correct thing for him to do would be to have a DNA test. If this baby is his, do things between the two of you have to change?

he said he'll support her decision and them financially..etc, but they will live so far away he won't see much of the child, he doesn't even know her properly

he didn't have no obligaton to me and although i'm not particularly happy about him sleeping with other people i didn't expect him not to. i feel that things will change, or rather just not get started propery, it was kind of unsaid that we would make a go of things after i had lo and things where more settled, if we both wanted that, but as i say, lo's biological father has hurt me very badly and this has hurt me too, and i'm not sure if i could get over it or not.

Maybe its time to find out where you stand. Does he want to carry on a casual relationship with you? Or make it more permanent? More importantly what sort of relationship (if any) do you want with him?

If you both decide to be together and have a proper relationship you'll have to let bygones be bygones, you'll have to except that he has a child with someone else (even if it was a one night stand) and get on with it. It might be hard at first but it'll be worth it if you want to make a go of things.

Sorry I'm probably not being very helpful!!

Maybe you could try and make a go of things but take things slowly (and with the understanding that neither of you sleeps with anyone else) because if you've been badly hurt by your ex you're gonna need to build up your trust with this guy slowly. Not only because you willneed to know if you can trust this guy but when you've been hurt before you feel like you don't want to just jump straight in and give your trust completely to somebody for fear that you will be hurt again. I know this from personal experience.

Its best to be 100% sure for yours and your babys sake.

thank you for your reply. he says that he did want to have a proper relationship with me, he's not a 'rush into anything' kind of person. i think i'm going to have to try and take a step back from him and let him deal with it and see how i feel further on down the line, i'm torn between wanting to support him and be there for him as a friend and crying and shouting at him because he shouldn't be hurting me. i do trust him, he is a decent person and he did something stupid, but at the same time i need to think about myself and dcs. oh well, these things that don't kill us...etc

bugger..name change didn't work

((((((((((hugs))))))))) that must be a shitter for you,yet would you have ever known had she not declared her pregnancy??? does he not realise he could have caught a skanky disease as well.where do you go from here as regards to trusting him,surely if he was serious about you he wouldn't have slept with someone at the first bit of freedom.i dont mean to sound harsh but like you said you have 2 beautiful daughters to think about and you dont need to be nobbed around by a bloke who is scared of commiting to someone

i wondered that FO, probably wouldn't have found out unless i'd asked him straight as he won't lie just not forthcombing in what information he gives out. you're right, he's a commitment phobic, he's been hurt in the past but thats not my fault, i had doubts as to whether he was the right person for me anyway, i think its best that i stay friends with him but keep my distance for a while too.

p.s totally agree with he could have caught something, stupid twat and she was silly too, they're grown adults fgs.

I didn't think about him catching an STD, he needs to get checked.

Think it would be good for now to just stay friends and see where the future takes you.

If it was just a holiday fling why did this guy give her his details?

Seems like he needs to sort his head out.

i've been telling him to get checked out for ages, in fact, he may have given her something! it was a family holiday, she made friends with his sisters, they all talk on facebook. thanks all for chatting to me, feel a little better about it now.

so have you been sleeping with him as well??? im only asking because if he may have given her something had you not best get checked out.so she isnt the first woman he has slept with then??? sounds to me like you are better off without him x x x

yeah a few times but i made sure i used something! not that daft me isn't

just found a lovely pic of them on facebook, am in a bit of a strop now!

he's a tw*t, don't even want to be his friend at the moment, off out on Fri to find me a real man or rather get very drunk and call all men gits

good for you chick, he's not worth the tears. x x

J20 honey, you don't half know how to pick them girl!!! Sounds like the sort of person you don't need in yours and dd's life. But appreciate it hurts. There ARE decent men out there. Here's hoping you get one next time xxxx

alice-i know!! you'd think i'd learn!! i'll get over it

a little update to this situation-the pg girl has said she is 7 wks pg, when they where together 7 weeks ago, is it just me or shouldn't a scan be showing her as 9 weeks if she conceived 7 weeks ago??

anyway, have told him i don't want anything else to do with him, just want to satisfy my own curiosity really.

no, the first two weeks of pregnancy are the two weeks before you ovulate, she is in reality, 5 weeks pregnant as far as an actual foetus is concerned

yes this my thinking too, so it can't be his baby can it??? either she's got pg when she got back off hol or she is the scheming(sp) silly girl i thought she may be and doesn't know how the pg lark works and thinks if she tells him 7 wks he will be none the wiser???

i think that is right, but it sounds like you are best off out of it, he sounds pathetic, quite frankly. what an awful situation

i know, i keep telling myself that