Unhappy in our relationship

[HelenC123]

Hi,
I’m currently very unhappy in my relationship. He’s a decent man but I just don’t love him anymore. We have grown apart. We have 2 children 14 and 12 and our first was born within 2 and half years off us meeting. We have been married for 8 years. I packed in work to look after kids and a few years ago I got part time job that isn’t particularly well paid. My husband is the main breadwinner he now has a really good job on around 80k.
We have a mortgage which I certainly could afford to pay on my own. I’m not even sure I could continue living in the area. Obviously this is major decision anyway but can anyone advise me on where I stand financially? I feel that I cannot afford to leave him. My children and I are used to a comfortable lifestyle, this situation will be hard enough for them as it without the upheaval of moving house and leaving their friends. Feeling trapped.

Would you rather be financially comfortable and miserable or financially worse off but happy??
Finances can change, you can make that happen. But once you have decided you dont love someone that is unlikely to improve

Sorry you are going through this. Have you told him of your feelings?

If you parted can you increase hours in your job at all to full time? Your DH would pay a good amount of maintenance, could you see what else you are entitled to in terms of benefits?

I’d look at citizens advice and also get some legal advice on your position

No financial advice sorry but as someone who got divorced after a LOT of soul searching about whether it was the best thing to do ( like you I was really worried about finances, my ex earned a lot more than me and threatened to make life difficult) but I can honestly say the feeling of being on your own rather than in a miserable marriage is priceless. I’m not at all well off and have to be careful with all aspects of money, but my life is my own. Freedom is worth having. The DC have adjusted. A house and a comfortable lifestyle are not enough on their own. Have faith in yourself to create a better life, even if that means less financial security.