3 weeks ago I told my dp that I want to leave.
We have a 3 year old ds and the past year has made me realise that although I care about him, I don't like the person he has become.
Dp has always had a bad temper which has been the source of a lot of the problems in our relationship as I am very laid back generally. Lockdown has severely affected his business causing him to be even more angry and very depressed and I have had to bare the brunt of his anger, mood swings and generally volatile behaviour. He is very up and down and can be so nasty. There have been times he has tried to scare me which I can not put up with.
Over the last year he has admitted that he is depressed however has refused to seek help even though I know this would have helped him. Instead he self medicates by smoking a lot which I hate.
He slept in till 10.30/11am every day for the past year whilst I got up at 7 to take care of Ds and do all of the housework. On one occasion he got up 15 minutes before I had a virtual job interview and couldn't see what he had done wrong. He is very selfish. When i confronted this, we argued and he said he would 'love to leap over and attack me'. He has never been physically abusive however he does get very angry and slam doors, grunt etc. All in front of my Ds.
I would try my best to avoid him each morning as his moods were too much to bare. I would find myself in various supermarkets just to get out of the house. This has caused a lot of resentment on my part which in turn has caused a lot of arguments as I felt hugely underappreciated as a parent and partner. He says I am always rude, always moan and talk to him like crap.
I feel like I have put up with a lot this year. I've been excusing his behaviour due to his mental state but this cannot go on. I told him 3 weeks ago I wanted to split and we both agreed we are only still together for ds however he wants to stay together for Ds. I cannot stay with him for Ds. It is not a good environment for him, it is toxic. I agreed to look for somewhere else to live and have been doing so. We have been sleeping in seperate rooms.
After I said I wanted to leave, he said felt suicidal and contacted a gp who put him on antidepressants. He said he is feeling a bit better and recognises he needs to do more to help me. He said this has been a wake up call and asked me what he needs to do for me to stay. Im pleased he has got the medication he needs but I dont believe anything will change between us and he has said and done some unforgiveable things.
I cannot see a future with this man but am scared to be a single parent and am here for any similar stories or words of advice. Thanks in advance x