First time poster need some unbiased options/views. I wouldn't normally air my dirty laundry in public but hope this is a safe place to seek some advice. My Dh and I end have had numerous disagreements over chores what he does in the house etc where I have at times called him selfish and lazy and he goes ballistic. Had a disagreement Thursday night completely unrelated to chores but about access with my exh and he said oh you can't really say a lot can you just leave it. I wasn't going to say anything to my ex was more have a rant to my dh. When he said this I just said well every other parent has a say to which he starting huffing and puffing and saying I'm always bringing his kids into it. Explained I want been derogatory or didn't mean his kids I just meant his ex. 7pm after tea he goes off to bed in a mood leaving me with dd to clean up, bath do bedtime etc! It's midnight by the time I shower get myself to bed. I wake up the next morning for work. Baby wakes up, I change ally, prepare breakfast and he shows up literally as I'm putting my shoes on to go to work. Texts me in the day apologising I'm too tired to continue on the conversation so I say fine leave it. Come home from work. He's still in his pjs no sign of tea or housework so I order a a takeaway. Telling my dh about some changes that are going to take place in work soon and how worried I am about it. He blanks me starts answering some stupid questions on some quiz show that he's watching and when I say are you even listening he said ye it's fine. After we have had a food, he huffing and puffing and when I ask what's the matter he says he's tired. When I said how come and mentioned he been in bed 14 hours the night before, I asked him if the baby has slept in the day. He said she's slept for 2 and a half hours so he played computers games. I said he should have had a nap and then said he wouldn't incase I called him lazy!! So he's huffing and puffing and it starts pissing me off. I said I've been in work all day, did everything last night got up before work with the baby you haven't even thought about tea. I think that's quiet selfish and lazy. He goes mad packs a bag and leaves to go to his mums. Because calling him lazy is speaking to him like shit. I put the baby to bed, her up Saturday morning he says the marriage is and I said fine no argument. Today he's messaging saying he's sorry he will try harder can he come home. I've said no! Been here all weekend on my own with the kids exhausted, and he can't just drop me whenever he feels it. Randomly asked him if he had been in work today and he said no! He's been too upset to go in. I was well pissed by this stage. And said that just proves how selfish and lazy you are by staying at your mums all weekend when you have a baby here and I'm expected to deal with it by myself. He retaliated by saying your always angry with me I can't do anything right and I'm not selfish or lazy!! Am I'm missing something I feel like I'm losing my mind. For context I do all the housework, cooking shopping, bath times, diy, decorating and put the bins out. He does a bit of ironing, and puts the dishes in the dishwasher after tea and will put the hoover round once a week if that. He works 4 10hour days sun-wed, I work 9-5 Wednesday and Friday half day Thursday. I know there are so many issues here. But am I wrong to be angry and call him selfish and lazy. Sorry for the long rant congratulations if you made it to the end x