Going to relate tonight

[TLV]

but we are both going for different reasons, me because I still love him and want the marriage to work and him because he says he doesnt love me and does not want to come back (even tho it quite clearly is tearing him apart too) how will it work then? will they try to see both sides and find some common ground and will it take more than one session, dh told me friday that he had asked a solicitor to draw up divorce papers I'm really dreading going tonight now

I think they normally suggest 6 sessions then review the situation to see how both parties feel. They ask for this as a minimum commitment.

I hope it goes ok for you, good luck

thank you, I only hope he agrees to it and if so then I know that there may be some hope for us

I know it hurts but if he says he doesn't love you is there any point, even if you get him to stay wont you forever feel insecure and wont this cause you lots of pain.
I'd not bother with relate and take the money, have a makeover and try to begin a new life - or even take the money and pay for private counciling (sorry cant spell!) for sessions for my self to get over him.

he has only been gone 4 weeks and I can't give up on 5yrs straight away, he still has feelings and misses me he has told me that so I can't give up just yet

tlv - don't give up just yet! ALL marriages go through shit times, this may be about the worst yours will ever go through.

you say you still love him, well fwiw, i would try about anything, at least if you do then end up parting YOU will know you did your best!

i also think though that in your heart you know if this is worth fighting for, don't forget that you also have the power to say 'enough is enough'

But he's done it he's made the break and actually left - you might just prolong the agony. If he loved you and wanted to work it out he wouldn't of left. Breaking up isn't easy he probably feels lost and guilty but it doesn't mean he wants to come back. If he's talking divorce then it sounds like he knows what he wants.
Is there anyone else involved? Do you have children? Why did he leave?

How did it go ?

TLV - feel for you - did you manage to get him there? What happened?