What would you say? Friend questionable dating choices!

[Allthephotos]

Hi MN
I am looking for a bit of advice regarding one of my best friends. My friend (38) is kind, caring, fun, attractive, has her own business.
Slight problem: She meets a guy and pursues him, he doesn't ever show much interest (he never asks her questions or treats her well), never takes her on a dates and she never really hears from him, but she pursues him.
She will then sleep with him and think they are in a relationship, they continue to sleep together on a casual basis.

All the time my friend gets so upset from start to end and getting angry with herself for falling for him. After a few weeks/months of luke warm behaviour he ghosts her. This has happened in the last 5 or 6 men she's met.

If I'm honest it's really frustrating for me because I have exhausted my advice. I've spent hours with her supporting her being upset (again) but I can't help thinking she's doing it to herself.
But what do I say? Or shall I just keep quiet?

Buy her copies of The Rules, he's just not that into you, and why men love bitches.

Don't say "you're a disaster, here you are" .. just say you've heard these books are really helpful and valid and wel recommended for women who are on the dating scene.

@Allthephotos
I would be more direct with her and say she should go for counselling. Don't get drawn into elongated chats about these men. Some people consciously or subconsciously like the drama of chasing emotionally unavailable or disinterested men and then playing the victim. Because I'm very empathetic and a good listener some people will use you as an emotional dumpster to feel better about themselves, whether they mean to or not. I've learnt the hard way to put boundaries for my wellbeing, as well as theirs.

It's blindingly obvious to a normal adult that after the first couple of instances of chasing such men,that they need to change their behaviour if they want a guy to treat them well. If they're continuing it they're getting something out of being treated badly unfortunately so she doesn't want to change, and it's not your responsibility to fix her. She has to take responsibility for herself and own actions.

Thanks @LivBa very good point, this has really made me think.
I think you're absolutely right that she's obviously getting something out of these 'relationships'. I have long thought she doesn't actually know what it means to be in an adult relationship and maybe gets a kick out of the drama but also the instability of such relationships. Which doesn't make sense but I'm not in her head.

I do think she purposefully avoids nice guys and won't give them a chance after date one or discards them before meeting them whereas she wastes her sweet time with men who clearly aren't into her or don't want a relationship.

She comes from a rather wealthy family and there is expectations to marry someone who is the correct class with the correct job and posh etc
I don't think.my friend really wants this but also doesn't want to let her family down so perhaps goes from the wrong guys or completely non committal because she knows they won't stick around so she doesn't need to introduce to her family and be judged.

My mate was like this , I told her to follow ‘the rules’ It sounds like game playing but it’s really about not putting everything into a new romance, keeping busy and having self respect. She got married to the guy she met after reading it.

I've just come back from a long chat with my friend. She's been talking online to this milkman guy (they've been Zooming and speaking on the phone, texting too) and he told her not to call as it was "complicated". He said he and his wife were separated but lived in the same house. Red flag straight away there!

She ignored that, continued phoning, messaging, texting and he has blocked her. Sent her a voicemail saying she was too full on and she played it to the man next door. The whole thing was embarrassing. She had sent begging texts etc to him.

I told her to back off from men, use the time to focus on getting herself well and realise her own self worth.

Oh wow @Sandra15 this is crazy!
Why would she be interested in a guy who really isn't bothered.
It's like my friend expecting a kiss when the guy didn't want to kiss her so she pounced on him!!!
Everytime she does this I feel like the guy goes along with it because he knows he'll get a shag, I mean he has nothing to lose and no effort required.
I've never known my friend to be asked out on a date because she always asks them first. She forever reads too much into things and then sits waiting to hear from them and they ways reply days later saying they were busy and she thinks this is ok.
I personally think blokes are so straightforward.
A guy who likes you will text no matter what is going on in his life, they will ask you out and want to take you on dates.
You will never have to second guess a guy who likes you because they will tell you how much they like you.
I'm trying to think of what to say with this next let down for her.

And as a rule of thumb a polite guy, who is interested in dating you and getting to know you will text and ask if you got home ok.