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Original poster

Is this normal behaviour?

32 replies

Cadburydelights · 18/04/2021 08:33

Posting here for traffic. I have a partner and her DD is 9. I find she acts very young for her age and wondered if it was normal. My DP has commented a few times she's a very young 9 year old and you wouldn't think she is as old as she is. I have a 5yo DS and her behaviour is more like his.
Few examples would be she crawls on the floor pretending to be animals and scraps and screams and roars. She talks quite babyish calls my DP mama, talks in a babyish way. Play fights with swords with my DS, pretends she's a ninja. Whenever we go out she's screaming and shouting everywhere we go. She also has an obsession with favourite colours too it's red atm so she dresses all in red or can only have items that are red.
Is this normal 9yo behaviour?

OP posts:
Hermanfromguesswho · 18/04/2021 08:36

I have a 9 year old and I work with 9 year olds. They vary quite a lot at this age. Some are very grown up. But, yes, a significant proportion of them are still very playful. It’s a lovely age.

DarcyLewis · 18/04/2021 08:37

Definitely within normal.

Sooobored · 18/04/2021 08:39

Quite normal I would say.

Jackielaffertyiscold · 18/04/2021 08:40

Sounds fine

FritataPatate · 18/04/2021 08:51

Hi OP,
This sounds like normal behaviour, but this statement stood out for me:
Whenever we go out she's screaming and shouting everywhere we go.
This sounds like behaviour that needs sorting.

Dery · 18/04/2021 08:56

Agree with @FritataPatate - most of it sounds normal but screaming and shouting whenever she goes out does not.

MarshmallowAra · 18/04/2021 09:00

You sound like you have a problem with/are uncomfortable with/maybe even dislike your partner's child and are looking for people to say she's abnormal, or odd, or has developmental issues or something.

Maybe you're not a good match for this woman and her child, I feel a bit sorry for the child.

skeggycaggy · 18/04/2021 09:05

Did you post about this child not going upstairs on their own, or was that someone else?

litterbird · 18/04/2021 09:07

Do you know what the trigger is for her screaming and shouting when you go out? 9 year olds can vary enormously. If she is still playing and having a grand old time then that is fabulous. The behaviour out sounds challenging and needs addressing once you find the route cause.

Fallyi · 18/04/2021 09:09

I wonder why she screams and shouting when outside. Is it really everywhere you go? On every occasion? In your private garden, with an audience? Does she want to be outside? Her parents need to gently address this. Do they see it the same way you do?

She sounds fine

Original poster
Cadburydelights · 18/04/2021 09:10

@skeggycaggy

Did you post about this child not going upstairs on their own, or was that someone else?
No this was not me
OP posts:
huuuuunnnndderrricks · 18/04/2021 09:19

Are you worried she isn't NT? It does sound quite babyish for a 9 year old girl tbh but as long as she is unlike academically then she will no doubt catch up socially . Maybe she plays up to get the mums attention while you are around?

Original poster
Cadburydelights · 18/04/2021 09:24

@Fallyi

I wonder why she screams and shouting when outside. Is it really everywhere you go? On every occasion? In your private garden, with an audience? Does she want to be outside? Her parents need to gently address this. Do they see it the same way you do?

She sounds fine

Well it's everywhere really. But worst when playing with my DS. I had to go out numerous times yesterday when they were in the garden because she was screaming like she had injured herself and it was loud. So I politely asked if she could turn the volume down by 1 or 2. My DP has told her numerous times to calm down and there's no need to be extremely loud. I have noticed when my DP tells her off she quickly feels bad after and doesn't follow through with what she's said. Yesterday my DP, DD shouted while we were out to my DS " pretend you have a gun and shoot and kill me" She did get told off for shouting that really loud
OP posts:
Original poster
Cadburydelights · 18/04/2021 09:26

@huuuuunnnndderrricks

Are you worried she isn't NT? It does sound quite babyish for a 9 year old girl tbh but as long as she is unlike academically then she will no doubt catch up socially . Maybe she plays up to get the mums attention while you are around?
Sorry what is NT? Perhaps it's for attention. She can be really sweet and kind at times. She's alot more grown up when it's just me and my DP so I'm not sure
OP posts:
baileys6904 · 18/04/2021 09:28

So basically you have an issue with your partners parenting but don't want to say anything, projecting on the child instead...

gord2018 · 18/04/2021 09:28

Op my cousin is autistic and he has an obsession with the colour red too . Also I was told most autistic children love red . Maybe ask a doctor what he thinks x

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 18/04/2021 09:33

If she's more grown up when your DS isn't there it's possible she's acting younger to fit in with him. My teens act like little kids when with their much younger cousins because that's what the little ones like.

Trixie78 · 18/04/2021 09:36

@MarshmallowAra

You sound like you have a problem with/are uncomfortable with/maybe even dislike your partner's child and are looking for people to say she's abnormal, or odd, or has developmental issues or something.

Maybe you're not a good match for this woman and her child, I feel a bit sorry for the child.

Gosh a lot of assumptions here from a small amount of information!! 🤨🤨
Original poster
Cadburydelights · 18/04/2021 09:59

@trixie78 yes I have never said I hate the girl. Just wondered if this was normal behaviour for her age as I only have a 5 year old. My friend has a 9 year old and she is alot more grown up so wondered if this was normal of a 9 year old.

OP posts:
SevenAndMe · 18/04/2021 10:01

I was always young for my age and was still playing with dolls at 13. I grew up fine though. Some DC are more mature than others. Leave her be.

user1471505356 · 18/04/2021 10:22

How does she behave at school?

JackieWeaverFever · 18/04/2021 10:24

@MarshmallowAra

You sound like you have a problem with/are uncomfortable with/maybe even dislike your partner's child and are looking for people to say she's abnormal, or odd, or has developmental issues or something.

Maybe you're not a good match for this woman and her child, I feel a bit sorry for the child.

Yeah this unfortunately
SunIsComing · 18/04/2021 10:27

Screaming outside is not normal.

Twinkie01 · 18/04/2021 10:30

DD is 7 and wouldn't behave like that.

cupoftea2021 · 18/04/2021 11:02

I would ask how long you have been with your partner
The child is still very young
I would expect her to play up if you are new in her life no matter how happy you all are