Out of the blue...advice please

[Supernova18]

Hello everyone,
I have been dating someone for a while and living with them for the past year. Things were amazing until this past month where he told me that he felt things had changed since Christmas and it wasn’t what he wanted anymore and he couldn’t ignore his gut. I told him that I understood and respected his feelings.

I am insecure and one thing is that his place of work is from home too. I told him that I was insecure about a girl who he worked with as I find it overly friendly and flirty and I would rather him not do a treatment on her (he’s a sports physio). He said ok and on Tuesday this week did not. On Thursday he broke up with me and on Friday I came home from work to find that he was doing a treatment on this person. I was gutted and although he had wanted to try and remain friends, I decided to stay at my friends.

In one breath he says he will realise it’s a huge mistake leaving me, then he can’t ignore how he feels, then that he doesn’t want to lose our friendship and it goes round and round.

I still love him, but I have no idea what to do. I need to move out but I live away from home

Sorry you are going through this op
It's going to be hard on you for now ,but it sounds to me like he might have feelings for this woman ,hes ended it with you so I think you've dodged a bullet to be honest.
Onwards and upwards, you are stronger than this ,let him get on with it.
If he realised hes made a mistake tell him hes made his bed he can lay in it and never take him back

Cab you not stay with friends until you find somewhere else to live? It's clear the relationship is over so I'd just keep communication with him very brief and to the point whilst you're still in his space - the constant circling in on emotions and feelings won't help you move on. Are you able to rent somewhere quickly at all?

Is it really out if the blue?
I suspect you telling him who he can and cannot treat has triggered his withdrawal from the relationship.

Have you always had trust issues? Is this the first time you have told him you are not happy treating females?

You need to move out, staying there isn't going to do you any good in the long run.

Thank you everyone.

This is the only time I have ever said to him as I am very laid back usually. I will find a rental but as I in london that can sometimes be hard with a budget.

I do believe him when he says nothing has gone on. There are no messages etc and he’s also said why would he be so stupid, he wouldn’t do it when I was there or coming home.

I’m just lost as hes so stressed with work 6am-10pm most days, that I feel the brunt of it has also come my way

We'll the first thing you need to do is stop giving a fuck about his emotions or stress. T
It's clear to see he has feelings for this woman, at the very least and at least he's been honest and ended it with you rather than string you along for months and years like some men do.

He might not be bring entirely honest as to the reasons he's suddenly feeling different about your relationship and that TBH is his choice. But you can see through that surely that he's obviously emotionally moved on and it's in your interest to cut your losses and move on.

Sorry this is happening. Shit, but as soon as you can come to terms with it and move on instead of ruminating it round and round, the sooner you'll feel better and happier about your decision.

Onwards and upwards.

Oh, this sounds so like my situation with my narcissistic ex. He dumped me but then decided he wanted me back countless times. I wanted to stay friends (we had been friends for 20 years before we got together) but in the end I had to block him on all platforms in order to fully move on.

You can find someone much better than this. Sending you strength. Xxx