How to find out it DH is cheating

[Cinderella25]

We have been together for 10 years lately he has changed all the passwords on his phone. I have found some messages to a ‘Dave’ not his real name.

What should I do? Track his car?

He is good with technology and can cover his tracks.

OP, please get some legal advice.

@Cinderella25

One said hello Dave I can meet tonight it you pick me up

Another said hello mr Dave it this you?

Different numbers

Are these messages he is sending or receiving? I’d be worrying they were from sex workers.

Either way, I agree that you need legal advice. Get your ducks in a row, then split.

I would get a gps tracker and hide it in the car

Instead of putting energy into uncovering his infidelity, put your energy into building a life for yourself you can easily walk into.

Fucking hell. People straight up encouraging the OP to commit a crime. A quick Google suggests it could harmfully effect any court proceedings if they did split up too.

Not to mention that you don't need fucking proof of anything to split up with someone who treats you badly and who you don't even get along with!

OP - if you find out he is not cheating what will you do? Not leave him?
OP - if you find out he is cheating what will you do? I assume leave him? But then who's stopping you leave now? You say the house but that will apply in this scenario too.

You can’t stay with him forever because you’ve got no money. And if you’re married, you are entitled to a share of the value of the house on divorce.

For money, you can look for work (if you’re not working already) and/or claim benefits. It’s not a reason to stay in a bad relationship. You’re an adult. Adults arrange to have their own money either through a job and/or benefits. Or through a relationship but only if the relationship is a good one and this one sounds like it’s not.

Have you googled these number for Dave or called them?

How long have you been together, any children?

Sounds like you could be his beard tbh.

If you're married, it doesn't matter that the house or other things like savings or pensions are in his name - you will have a claim on the assets of the marriage.

And finding out that he's committing adultery would not benefit you in the divorce settlements - that's not how it works, the courts won't care and it's hard to prove if he's likely to contest it. You have ample reason to divorce using "unreasonable behaviour" and would be better served by it.

Why don't you have any money? And why did you marry a man who doesn't like sleeping with you?

If you're considering tracking his car Your relationship is over. Leave with dignity.

Exactly!

What a ridiculous thing to say! If a female came on here to say her car is being tracked everyone would tell her to call the police. You sound unhinged.

If you genuinely believe he’s cheating then leave.

No good ever comes to a relationship by going all MI5. You'll get many posters encouraging you, but it's enjoyment for them with zero consequences - it's your real life, don't be sucked in.

Well said!

Yes he's cheating. No don't track him. Call the number and find out for yourself. Or put the number in your phone and see what the WhatsApp contact looks like. Does it look like a Dave or a woman?
Ask for the phone password. If he won't give it to you he's hiding something.

Your marriage is over.

Absolutely I would have no qualms about this at all. I would not allow myself to be made a fool of so if I had any suspicions I’d do anything and everything to investigate hoping I was wrong. An old phone or iPad with a location finder and a PAYG sim that could have been left in the car accidentally will do if you’re worried about it being illegal although if the car is a family one it wouldn’t be.

I’d also check his bank accounts too if you can’t get into his phone to check messages and emails. Check pockets for receipts (including jacket/trouser pockets in wardrobe), gym bag, work bag etc.

If you are wrong then no harm done and you can decide if you want to stay in the marriage. If you’re right, then you’re not going to fall for his lying denials and gaslighting.