I have a crush on someone, how to make it go away.

[Lafoosa]

So I have a crush on my DP's friend, he makes me smile all the time and I constantly feel all fluttery when he's around. I can't avoid him either because I don't want to destroy my DP's friendship with him. I obviously wouldn't ever cheat, there's not a chance I would even consider it so I'm not worried about something happening. But I just feel guilty for having a crush on him, and I know that it's probably because my DP doesn't really bother being flirty anymore, and all of his jokes are mean rather than funny. And by mean I mean that he could call me lazy and then laugh in a joking way, but say that same thing everyday so I feel like it's not actually a joke and he really thinks that. We have been together 7 years and have two toddlers so I know it's normal to not be that romantic anymore but I'd at least like him to be flirty sometimes even if he just sends a suggestive text but in a flirty way. Usually his suggestive texts are more along the lines of "I'm going to bang you tonight" so not at all flirty, delicate or even appealing.

I know I need to fix this relationship stuff, and I'm working on it. But how can I get rid of this crush in the meantime because I don't really want it lingering. Thanks.

By fixing your relationship.

I know that doesn't sound helpful but that genuinely is what's going to kick this. Otherwise the constant subconscious comparison is always there, your DP will always come off worse (quite deservedly, by the sounds of things at the moment) and you'll always look forward to this friend treating you nicely and making you feel worthwhile while your DP does the opposite.

Don’t meet up with DPs friends. Keeps his social time and yours separate

@SavedDownTheWell
I feel like my relationship problems are going to take so long to fix though, and that it'll be unhealthy and counter productive to fixing it to have this crush on his friend.
A lot of our problems have been there from the start and even with me constantly trying to work on the relationship he seems to only get better in some areas for a couple of days before he goes back to his usual self.
I wouldn't leave him for his friend because that would be horrible, and his friend wouldn't ever do that either. Also I doubt his friend feels the same way.

I just feel a bit stuck. There have been a few times over the years we've been together where I've seriously considered leaving. Right now I feel like things aren't even nearly as bad as they have been before so it would be drastic. But sometimes I worry that it I wasn't home with the kids all the time and was more financially independent then maybe I would leave. I just want to feel loved and I don't particularly. I more feel like I'm the cleaner that he gets to have sex with 😅

Where would I even start with fixing things? Talking to him usually turns into an argument and we can't afford therapy.

@autumnalrain that would be a bit tricky because usually the social time is within a group which also has my friends too. Other than just that I don't really have any other social circles or friends so I either go to that one or never see anyone except the people I live with and that sent me down a bit of a hole last time.